| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi. i recently confessed to this girl that i've feelings for her. she said shes confused, dazed and also seems like a dream to her. but the problem is she has a boyfriend already. but she says her boyfriend cannot connect emotionally with her, doesn't truly understand her, and isn't as fun to be with as me. while she feels that emotional connection and chemistry with me. but she says what her boyfriend provides her with is just plain security. she's assured that he'll never leave her mainly because of his uglier and more mature looks, as compared to mine. hes also much older than her while im the same age as her. but she says she cannot find this security in me as she feels i have the tendency to stray and be unsure of my feelings. but then she'll always turn to me instead of her boyfriend whenever she's troubled or has something to say. im also unsure that I'll really love her forever. yet she says she's not prepared to try unless im sure. but i feel its a pity if we haven't tried. who would she choose? and what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 Hey,
well, it sounds like this girl is taking the easy road with love. Being with someone she's not happy with but almost definately won't get hurt.
I think you need to talk to her, tell her not to be afraid, love isn't just about being let down sometimes, it's about being happy and finding someone. There's a soulmate for everyone out there, does she really want to be stuck with someone who, as shes' said, can never give her the joy that you can?? Ask her why, if you're unsure of your feelings, does she think you would have confessed to her about your love? Why does she run to you when she has her "security" with somone else? Ask her to give you a chance, to be happy for once and maybe, who knows, her boyfriend may find someone he's happy with too. Fight for your love...and hopefully win. Tell me how this one goes and I hope you get your girl.
Hope this helped,
Phoebe xxXxx
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