A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Please help. I've been living with my bf for two years and things aren't good financially atm. He was made redundant a year ago and hasn't been able to find work. This has affected him badly and we've also been living literally hand to mouth. Tonight he comes out with he wants to move away and find work. I ask if I can come he tells me maybe he'll be staying with his friends and just working night and day to save some money. He's always dreamt of opening his own business. I ask if I'll still be his girlfriend he tells me he doesn't know as he needs to build a future for himself before it's too late. Before he met me he worked a lot and was saving but literally had no life. His home was simply a place to sleep and wash.He's broke my heart :( we always talked about our future being together. Please help guys
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): I agree with Lexie88. He hasn't included for whatever reason, looks like this is his way of breaking it off gently with you. My advice if you want to keep your dignity intact is to let him go. Tell him how much he means to you and that you want him to be happy.
Then remove yourself from all contact from him. Hard I know. But the right the to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): I hate to say this but this guy is planning his exit. Dump him before he dumps you.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (11 January 2011):
Saying that he doesn't know if you'll still be his girlfriend and that he needs to build a future for himself before it's too late tells me he's already made up his mind as to the future of your relationship.
I understand that he is not in a great position in his life right now, but if he wanted you in his future he'd discuss his future plans with you and involve you in the planning. He's not doing that. This tells me he wants to go out on his own.
You say you always talked about your future being together. Ask him how all that fits into his current plans. And when all is said and done, you need to look after yourself. If he wants to leave you to go and build a future for himself he's obviously not thinking of you two as a partnership. Let him go if that's how he sees it. Don't wait for him, build your own future.
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