A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi aunts and uncles I've been having problems with my bf recently and we've barely been together for 2 months! He is constantly paranoid that I'd cheat on him with other guys and insecure even though the only guy I hang out with is a really good friend of mine.For the record we don't even hang out everyday and only once a week with a couple of good friends. He on the other hand has very good friends who are girls. Even his study mates are girls and this makes me feel insecure. Things didn't used to be like that. We used to be so good together. Just yesterday he got angry because I didn't tell him I was going out with 2 other girlfriends. And today we had another argument and he told me not to bother replying his messages. We never had a cold war before. I think I've been very patient but sometimes he makes me feel like a lousy gf. Like how he laments that I'm too pretty for him and I make him insecure or that I'm too controlling and that I'm selfish sometimes. Yet when I ask him how I can become a better gf, he wouldn't tell me how. The thing is I don't think he's not being a very nice bf either when he allows his ex to hang around him like a fly when he knows she's flirting with him. Sometimes he also talks about cheating on me with other girls or his ex in front of me (but he has said he was joking) still, it makes me feel very stressed out that one day he's going to leave me. I want the old bf I knew. And I want to salvage the relationship. What can I do?
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flirt, his ex, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question Share |
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 October 2011):
It sounds to me like you are both insecure and clingy and this combination will never work long term. You both need to let each other breath and have a social life outside of the relationship as well. Him joking about cheating is completely unacceptable, he sounds immature and he needs to grow up a little. You both need to sit down and communicate with each other. You need to talk things out and tell him exactly how he is making you feel. It is OK for you to have male friends and him female. I know that sometimes it can make people jealous but that's why you need trust in a relationship. I am sorry to say I really don't think the both of you should be together.
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