A
female
age
36-40,
*eela
writes:Hi, i've got a bit of a dilemma because I have fallen for a guy who is older than me by 7 years, married and who has a kid. We both really like each other but I don't know whether to take this relationship further. We haven't actually done anything yet but I know something could happen and then there would be no going back. We flirt like mad and everyone else can see that there is something between is too. The worst thing is that i have known him for 4 years as i met him when i was 18, but ive only started to fall for him in the last few months.it's not like I didn't know about his wife and kid when i first got to know him. Also i've always beleived that marriage is for life so i don't know how i have got myself into this mess. we are both fighting against our feelings for each and we can only do that for so long until we give in. it's not like i can get away from him either because we live close by and i always see him around. what can i do to get myself out of this situation?
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (10 May 2007):
 You have a choice to make. Do you want to go out with this guy or not?
If you want to go out with this guy, stop the flirting and ask him out. I agree in the belief that marriage is for life, but there is two sides to the story and you dont have either. Perhaps there was an underlying reason for his marriage breakup. You dont know.
If you think its a bad idea to go out with him, then stop the flirting and just be a friend. Stay away from him, speak only when spoken to by him, and distance yourself.
You'll only be in a situation if you allow yourself to get into a situation with this guy. But you have the opportunity for there not to be a situation if you play your cards right (if you do or dont go out with him). Either way, you are in control of what happens, so stop panicing and decide what YOU want!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 May 2007):
 You aren't really in a "situation"...yet. Stop the flirting and go about your business. Go out with friends and stay away from the guy. You have the ability to act like a class act and do the right thing here. Do it.
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