A
male
age
41-50,
*ommy2k7
writes:My friend has been in a 2 month relationship with a boy 3 yrs older than her (she is 17, he is 20). (She talks to me a lot with her problems). Somebody claimed that they were so in love with her he wanted to marry her! Her new boyfriend knows she talks to me, all of her friends knows she does, so her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum, stay with him or stop talking to friends. Now, he claims to truly love her, but partners just dont do this. She keeps wanting to give him one more chance, but I think he'll make her choose again. Last night she threatened to walk out on him if he continued to make her choose. This is not a healthy, happy relationship is it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (13 March 2007):
Of course this isnt a healthy happy relationship. He must have things he doesnt want anyone to know about, thats why he wants her to stop confideing in her friends. She needs to tell him that she is not going to stop doing any of the things she did before she was with him. If she stays strong and really stands up to him, he will probly stop all his stupid behaviour. If he loves her he will accept what she is telling him.
A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 It's difficult to know whether or not it's a healthy happy relationship, but I agree that it's not good for him to be giving her ultimatums. Obviously her friends are very important to her and they should not be cut out of her life. However, from his point of view I would guess he's jealous of her closeness to you. After all, they're just beginning to get to know each other and perhaps he is uncomfortable knowing that whatever he confides in her might be relayed back to you. I expect he wants to be number one in her life and feels that you're some sort of competition. I think your friend should tell him that she will not stop seeing her friends and that it's not fair of him to make her choose. However, she should reassure him that what he tells her in confidence will not be repeated to her friends and that he is just as important to her as her friends. In the end she is the one who has to make a decision here and I think you should let her make up her own mind. Hope this helps.
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