A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have two kids with a wonderful person, but I am confused whether this is the person for me. Since we have been together, he has made me so many promises, and broken every single one of them. He is really violent, has never laid a finger on me nor the children, but breaks things and screams at the top of his lungs when we have an argument. He is so pathetic, he loves to drink alot and smoke weed, and i cant stand that. I cant have a converstaion with him, because if I say one thing, he throws a fit. He is a really nice person, dont get me wrong. But I can never say what i feel because he freaks out. What am I supposed to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): I totally agree with rcn. This is a destructive relationship, exacerbated by his getting drunk and stoned.
How on earth can you say he's a really nice person? I'd say he's a long way off being that!
Get out and take the kids with you, it ain't doing them any good at all being in an environment like yours.
Phil
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 You need to seek help in your area to get out of that situation. This behavior is not good for you and will have a negative impact on your children. Your kids will grow up with low self esteems, lack of respect for other people, learning from him the way to deal with little things that go wrong. Being around this is not the way to raise children. Remember this as well. Staying with him, even if you're not violent or angry at all, you're parially at fault for how your children turn out because of it. If he's caught doing a positive drug test for the weed, you can get your children taken away from you for neglecting their well being. Knowing he does it and not leaving, you'll be just as responsible as he for it.
If I were you I'd get out of there and do it quickly without thought. If you don't the first thing you should do every morning is apologize to your children for allowing them to grow up in an unhappy and unfit environment.
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