A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:Hi, those who have followed me will know. So what happens is, I had a bf of 9 months. We were happy together. However, he decided to move to another city without really considering me. After some discussion, we realized that I want to get married (some day) while he doesn't see the need to get married. So he moved to HK, and I couldn't move to HK without some sort of commitment from him. I'm not asking him for marriage, but I need to know if I'm in his life. While obviously he didn't want commitment, thus I nagged him for commitment. On my part, how can I move to HK, or even do a long distance without any plans for our future? Thus, one day, he said he couldn't deal with me nagging him about questions about marriage and broke up with me over email. That period, he was stressed as there's some problems happening in his family as well. I did not reply his email and left it as it is cuz I know he needed the space. After a while, I found out that my mum has cancer. I posted some stuff regarding that on my facebook in the middle of the night. And he msged me to ask what's wrong. I told him and he told me to be strong. I said I hope he's more relaxed now and he said he realized I'm right, he needs to take things easy. That was a week plus ago. It's now a month since he broke up with me. The thing is, I still miss him a lot. I know he's made the decision to move on without me, and he doesn't want me. So I never begged him to get back together. I gave him all the space he wants, and I just love him from far. Several times I wanted to tell him that I miss him, but I never did.I know that we still have obstacles....he's in HK, I'm in Singapore. I want to get married some day, he doesn't. But I think of him everyday, I miss him a lot. And I just wish we were together again.Do you think I should tell him I miss him? Perhaps he never did miss me, perhaps he's already moved on with another girl. I know the chances of us getting back together are very slim......but I don't know if I need any closure (I already know all the answers)....or I just want to tell him I miss him.What do you think?
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female
reader, 19agegap +, writes (23 June 2008):
19agegap is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni put in a lot of myself, and when he left, it seems like my life fell apart. I still try to be strong, but sometimes I think if he's back, a lot of my problems will be solved. At least I'll be happier
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Personally I see no harm in an innocent email just saying something like" hi, how are you; thinking about you".
However, do not built hopes to rekindle the relationship; see it merely as a frienship gesture
Good luck. I know it still hurts, but it will get better!
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A
female
reader, Amsieee(:  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 tricky...mention that you do miss him but i think even if you do it wont present the outcome we are hoping for... tell him and see what he says but im sure someone out there would be grateful and proud to have a wife like you on his arm. get out and see some guys girl live and love aint easyy if you dont get out live and love :)xxx
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