| A
female
,
*hillLady
writes: I have been with my husband for 6 years, and last december we got a computer. I have found several times that he has looked at different porn sites. I have never seen this behavior from him, or excpected it, So I was shocked. I have approached him everytime I caught him, and he made excuse's, Lied and avoids the conversation. He often turns it on me and makes me feel even worse, not trying to reasure me. I even tried making our own video, thinking variety would help him, but a few days later he looked online at videos instead of watching our video. I am attractive and sexy, and try to keep up with my husbands strong sexual appetite. But I continue to feel belittled and disrecpected. He refuse's to be honest or take me serously about how much this upsets me. I see him differently and I don't know what to do? We don't have a perfect marriage, but It was happy and relaxing until this. I have adored him, and bent over backwards for him, so why does he have to look at other women, and lie about it? Does it mean he is not happy or sexually satisfied? Do I throw away everything else because of what he is doing to our relationship? I am torn, because I don't buy that women just have to accept that men are visual and get over it. Women Like good looking men and sex and have fantasy's. But I made a choice to see only one man naked for the rest of my life and so did he right? If he wanted variety, stay single! I wish this never happened to my wonderful life. I will never be with another man if this turns out to be my husband wanting to be with other women. He was 1 in a billion type of a man until this so I am convinced that men are never happy with what they have, and they deserve to be alone with there fake women online until they die loney with there right hand!!! I love my husband, and I don't think he loves me anymore, why else would he want to look around for options????? HELP!!!
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): The issue around whether pornography is acceptable within society is a big one. Looking at statistics, a large percentage of men look at porn, but this does not necessarily make it right. If you love him and he loves you, I would suggest you go for joint counselling, there might be some other life issue he isn’t opening up to (anxiety etc) and he’s turning to porn as a release. He should not turn his use of porn onto you, if he truly loves you, he will deal with HIS issues. Be firm with him, but make sure you include a third party (councillor / family) as its unlikely you will be able to deal with this issue between the two of you. Be open with each other, holding things back will lead separation, I have no idea but I will hazard a guess that deep down he does love you – he needs to prove this. I hope you get through this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): The Op asked 'Is it possible for him to be completely happy with me and still want to do this?????'
Answer NO , If he were COMPLETELY satisfied he would have no urge to do this in the firstplace...stop kidding yourself...he wants more than your naked body he wants other women too
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): It's very simple....men who are happy with their wives don't cruise porn sites looking at other women. To me, it's just a matter of time before his on-line addiction becomes a real-life affair. This is a warning sign.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): This is the writer. My gut tells me that he has been faithful. I do trust that he loves me, and that he thinks I am sexy. He has never said anything bad to me about my appearance. That's WHY I am confused! He will only look when I am at work, and not everytime I work. I do think that the more he looks at other woman the more he will have the want to feel something new, That's what worries me. I am not into porn, but I did make the video for him to watch while I am away, and he still looked online once after that. Is it possible for him to be completely happy with me and still want to do this?????
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): If he needs variety he should have stayed single
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): he ain't looking for another option, just because you buy a book doesnt say that you can't join a library, has he been unfaithful to you?. he has in your mind but most men look and whether it be slyly or obvious. whether they tell their wives or lie, why do you feel belittled or disrespected, why do get upset about it. he doesnt want to be with other women and if you say hes 1 in a billion man hold on to him girl cos they don't come around very often it isn't about variety and staying single he loves and adores you but likes to look at porn and watch the odd video have you ever watched one with him would you consider it? act out one of his fantasies! couples who play together stay together go on give it a go you might just enjoy it
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): okay this is an easy one .... i am a girl but i am the same way your husband is . i got a comp not to long ago and i am married . and i have looked at porn on here when i should have been in bed with my new husband. so why did i do it ?.. well i love sex and its fun and it also feels a little bad but fun and it turns me on ( NOt that my husband dont ) its just fun and new . i wish my husband would look with me i kind of feel like i have to hide it to even thought i know he would not care . my advice is for u to maybe some time when he is not there maybe u should look at some porn to u might like it a little and if so u guys could do it together . but if u not into that then just know that he probably feels the same way i do bout it ..im sure u turn him on . the only way i would worry is if he is on sites running up high bills or if u think he is cheating or talking to a girl bit if he just looking its probably just fun to him . just talk to him and tell him that u would not mind looking with him once and if u do even if u are jel. dont let him no that just act like its fun or ok and then maybe u will see why he dose it .
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): Look some people will say men are more visual or it is not reflection of how he feels about you but IMO this is rubbish...It shows you exactly the level of respect he has for you and every other women on the planet.
Porn is an industry that thrives on tellling lies about women...It tells lies about what women look aand behave like sexually. Your husband will become more and more curious about other women and more disatisfied with you as a result. Take it from me I was in your exact same boat...My h used pornand all seemed well... until I had children and he started asking me
why do you have to have stretch marks, cant you get rid of them...look at her (referring to porn star) she doesnt have them...
Or Why dont your breasts look perky like hers...(hello I had 4 children) but that never mattered becasue all he was doing was feeding himself a constant dote of eternally beautiful never aging, never pregnant, never anything but flawless women.
Listen, unless you plan on never having babies or aging, demand he stops not or honestly I would get out now while the gettins good and you can meet a real man ...one who has no interest in porn lies and appreciates all that a real woman can give.......your gonnna get guys on here trying to justify porn but in your heart you know whats best for you.....Best of luck with this one
...............................
|
