A
female
age
,
*uniper Breeze
writes:How do I handle all of this? I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We are both in our 50's. We live 30 mins. away from each other. With his work schedule, we don't get to spend much time together. He has been divorced for 8yrs and has a 14 yr old child. Last yr. before we met he put an addition onto his home for his sister to live in with him. After 4 months of us dating, his sister told him he had to spend one weekend a month at my house because she needed time alone, she is single and does not date. My boyfriend told me about this and so we do as told.. Hmmm.. I only spend one night a month there if that. It just makes me mad because he goes out of his way to please her demands. On top of this, his ex feels the need to call him almost everyday and especially when she knows we are together. She is another one demanding his time, we have talked about his situation over and over again.. when I say something, I am told he deals with it because of his child. She spends more time on the phone with him then I do.. I have brought this to his attention several times and all I hear is it's getting better..The main issue.. He is not always honest with me in general. I gave our night up with him because he told me he was going to finish up a side job he was doing, come to find out I found out he went to a firemens seminar.. He is a volunteer fireman. Not a cheating thing, it's just he can't be straight up with me and I am sick over it..How can I continue to trust what he says.. I have expressed to him I can't deal with a liar over and over again.. I Love him to death but feel time is coming for me to give this relationship up. He is living 3 lifes and trying to please all 3 wifes.. Doesn't always keep his word to me..I NEVER ask for anything, I always share paying for whatever we do. I don't know what more I can do.. I do love this man and I know he truely loves me.. Last week I told him I thought we needed to end the relationship and he convinced me to stay and we would work on it together, reminding me how devistated his child and family would be if that happened and that I was his life and he love me so very much.. How do you love someone that much and continue to lie to them? Especially when you know the relationship is not solid.. I just don't know what to do? Please give me some advise.. Thanks..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 The only person that can fix this is him and him alone. As for pleasing his sister well I guess you cannot really ask him to change this, at the end of the day she is his family, I wouldnt let her come in between the both of you, I guess it is something that you should just accept and bare with. As for his ex partner, are you sure that they are entirely over each other? She shouldnt be still ringing him everyday that is not normal. Off course they need to keep in contact for his childs sake but not this much. Start talking to him about this and come to some sort of compromise, ask him to talk to his ex and ask her not to keep ringing him so much and just to ring him when it has to do with his daughter. If he loves you he will accept this compromise.
Now the bigger issue is him lying to you. It may only be small white lies but still it effects your trust in him and if he keeps doing it you are never going to be able to trust him. Sit down and talk to him and tell him if you ever find out he has lied again that it is over. No matter how small the lie is tell him you will not forgive him. I guess all you can do then is take it from there and see how it goes. Hopefully he comes to his senses and starts being honest with you. Good Luck.
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