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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a good relationship with a person that I love dearly, but I feel like he is keeping something from me and I want him to talk to me. What should I say to him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xtrasexii  +, writes (4 January 2011):
have you been betrayed before? it could have a factor in it and maybe the stuff hes keeping from you will come out as the relaitionship progresses. my husband kept something from me for 3 years. do you know what it was? his dad, in jail, for murdering a baby. i was sickened as i had a two year old and one on the way when i found out. and he didnt tell me to spite me.he told me because my distant friend worked at the prison and saw him visiting a top security prisoner. i wasnt mad i could understand why he kept it from me especially when i was 23 when i got married and pregnant two weeks later.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 April 2006):
 What makes you think he is keeping something from you, are you sure it is not just your own insecurity.
If you really do think that he is keeping something important from you then the only way to find out what it is is to ask him and as Dazerg says do this when you are both relaxed and being open with each other.
Do remember though that it may be something very personal that he is just not ready to share with you yet and you could be doing some damage by pushing him into talking about it and just one last thing, if you ask the question be prepared for the answer it maybe one you just dont want.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (1 April 2006):
 I think you need to be open and direct but also create an envrioment in which he feels comfortable to talk to you. From what you say here it doesnt seem as if you feel its directly related to the relationship or anything necessarily bad.
Plan a special evening together or some time away with just you and him, do things you both like and make it a really nice night then gently ease into sharing your concerns. Then play it by ear, if there is nothing or he doesnt want to share at this time then you can't force him. Hope that helps.
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