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He's in a relationship but has feelings for me. What should we do?

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2016) 10 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have feelings for a guy - but he is in a relationship. However yesterday he told me he has feelings for me aswell. What do we do?!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016):

How could you take him seriously and trust him once you got into a relationship? I mean, he said he had feelings for another woman and is practically psychologically cheating. I don't think you should stick with this guy, he probably just wants sex. He should have kept it completely platonic until he ended it with his girlfriend. If he didn't have feelings for his girlfriend, he would have dumped her already.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016):

Listen to the advice given here. His talk is cheap. If he really likes you, he will break up with her and cut all contact with her. That is the only way you should believe that he has feelings for you. If he does do BOTH (not only one) of those things (leave her and cut contact), his words are just nothing but words.

I would remain friendly but nothing romantic or flirty until he is 110% Single and removed her contacts.

Do it right from the start or you will regret it later. Men can only be trusted by their actions. Words are cheap and meaningless.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016):

If he does decide to leave his girlfriend for you then how do you know he wouldn't say exactly the same thing to another girl later on?

Do you really want to be with a guy who is always on the lookout for somebody else? I wouldn't, he doesn't sound like a good person, so I wouldn't want to be with him.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 February 2016):

olderthandirt agony auntIs "we" a metaphor for something? I ask 'cause if he is they and you are the fourth wheel on a tricycle then the whole thing is messed up.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (19 February 2016):

CindyCares agony auntThere is no "we" here. HE needs to leave his gf and come to you as a free,single guy, if he really has feelings for you. You do nothing but staying clear of any further involvement ,which includes any romantic talk, before he is indeed single.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (19 February 2016):

Ciar agony auntYou do nothing.

Talk is cheap. If he wants you then he should break up with his girlfriend. If he won't then you know how strong his feelings for you are.

If he's willing to maintain ongoing contact with you under these circumstances then he wants his girlfriend AND you. How does that strike you?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt"WE" don't do a darn thing!!!! If, and when, HE decides that his feelings are you are sufficient that he will OPT (commit) to you... THEN - and ONLY THEN - should you talk to, and/or meet him as if he is a prospective "boyfriend"...

Good luck....

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe doesn't sound to trustworthy to me. Are you sure he just doesn't want to have some fun with you then go home to his girlfriend? Stay clear.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

YouWish agony auntTell him that you do *not* date cheaters under any circumstance. Not now, not ever, no way. Tell him that if he has feelings, that he needs to do the honorable thing and break off his relationship before saying another word to you about getting with you.

You say you have feelings for him?? Put them aside for a second and look at what he's done. What if he was with YOU, but he's always shopping ahead? What if you were to find out that he's revealing feelings for someone else while he's with you? Do you want a guy like this?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI'd back away.

HE has a decision to make. HER or you.

Unless if course you rather be the "homewrecker" the "mistress" or the "other Woman".

IF he has deep feelings for you - deeper than for her. He will end it with her and date you.

If he doesn't want to end it with her, then he is ONLY stringing you along.

Don't be some guy's side-chick.

COME ON! use some common sense here.

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