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female
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*is6372
writes: I'm wondering if my boyfriend will ever change. He's 5 years older than me and so immature when it comes to responsibility. I have to make sure everything is done. He does nothing and treats me like crap, when I take care of his 2 small boys (i take them and pick them up from school, feed them, bathe them, clothe them, put them to bed, wake them up, make sure they don't eat a lot of junk, make sure they don't watch too much TV) well you get the point, I also make sure he gets to go where he wants, make sure he has a hot meal, and pretty much let him do whatever he wants, while I take care of the kids, take care of the house and yes even take care of the finances ( I work 40 hours a week and he has no job) I'm so totally stressed out to the max and all he can do is tell me its my falt when things go wrong. How do I de stress without leaving ( The boys think I'm their mom and I can't just leave them) What do I do to show him how much I do? I just want him to realize what he has, he doesn't appreciate me and I know I deserve more.
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (6 May 2006):
 To show this horrible boyfriend of yours that you deserve better, leave him. When you are no longet there to take care of his kids, do al the chores and be his slave then he will realise what good he had with you. You have been really good to this loser, why should you be happy, work al the hours that God sends while he sits on his dead beat ass and does bugger all. I know that you dont want to leave the kids, and for that I commend you because you obviously are a mother even though you are not their biological mum, but you seem like a smart, level headed person, so you need to think of you now. You sound far too nice to be with a prat and a loser like your fella. He is not worth it, your good intentions for the kids are wonderful, but can you stay with this waste of space for much longer? xXx
A
female
reader, Ana183 +, writes (6 May 2006):
 Hi there hunny...
I back you up 100% of the way when you say that you deserve more, because you do! You're boyfriend sounds like a total jerk, and he sounds like he needs a smack around the face to wake him up to reality.
If the "hot meal" bit was his idea, he sounds a little like my dad. My dad aint half as bad as this. I mean, dont get me wrong, my dad puts his meals in the microwave when he comes home, but if he asks my mum to cook him something, and she hasnt time to do it, he sulks like a baby. Sometimes, i say to him, "why dont you cook something?" then i get a mouth full of abuse, and theres no need for men like this. My dad never used to be like this, and has changed over the years, so i dread to think how bad your mans gonna be in years to come.
If you really cannott leave him, for his kids as much as yourself, it sounds like you need to start wearing trousers in the house! You need to be strong, and while you're at work, make him do some house work. If he starts to raise his voice at you, you raise your voice to him. 'Cos while ever you dont, he aint gonna listen to a word you say and while ever you do what he says, he's gonna keep treating you like crap.
I think you need to give him a taste of the real world. He's not a baby anymore, so its about time he stopped acting like one! He should cook for himself, clean for himself (specially if you work and he doesnt), and if those kids are his and not yours, its about time he started taking the dad role in his life.
You're worth a lot more than that hun! good luck!
BE STRONG!
xANAx
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (6 May 2006):
 tell him to grow up or get out
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2006): If he is not working what is he doing in his spare time.It looks like he had time to have babies but not look after them. It looks like he is using you to look after his kids and financially support them all. Why have YOU not put your foot down. Tell him he has to get a job and in the meantime start looking after the children and running the household while you are at work. You have a voice don't you, use It.Give him an ultimatum and If he is not willing to change I,m afraid you need to move on, those are his children not yours he has to start being a man sooner rather than later. Unfortunately you was one of his victims. If it was not you It would have been somebody else (mug). Sorry!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2006): simple,DONT DO IT,i understand why you do it for the children but this man has got it made,he knows you will do it, and some people will take advantage.If you dont cook his meals,will he starve himself?i dont think so.and the same applies elsewhere.Its nice to do things to please people and make them happy.But you have to be firm for your own sake.We have partners for that very reason,to be partners.As far as he is concerned go on strike and be assertive.Good luck XXX
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