A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. :) I'm new to this site so bear with me...I'm a 21 year old female. I'm currently dating a 34 male. He's a really great lover and turns me on all the time. It's like I can't get enough of him. But... when it comes to having sex and that sort of thing, he isn't the best. We do foreplay and all that for a while, I knwo I'm turned on, but I can't come. I've used a vib and my fingers. I just can't seem to get there during intercourse. Even with extra help. I can orgasm by myself. I can't orgasm with him. I don't like oral sex because I get paranoid about if he likes it or not, or if I'm taking too long. ANY ADVICE????
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foreplay, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): Thank you very much for the advice everyone:)
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 In my experience with men and oral sex, they either do it or they don't. Guys I've encountered either absolutely LOVE going down on a girl, or absolutely hate it and refuse to do it. My current boyfriend would quite possibly go down on me morning noon and night if I let him and his toungue wouldn'y swell up too big for his head lol. But I do know what you mean, I used to be really uncomfortable about guys going down on me, thinking they would be hating it, and I couldn't relax.
Sex sometimes gets harder if you're stressing about things, if you think you won't come, you probably won't, because you're not totally comfortable in the situation. Be open with your boyfriend, tell him what you like, what you would like him to do, where, when...He'll soon get the hang of it and you'll feel better once you both know a little bit more about each others bodies.
Hope this makes some sense to you :) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Phil is correct. If a guy wants to give you oral sex then it is most likely because he likes to do it. Try to relax and enjoy it. Here are some hints on giving a woman oral sex on this site.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/pw_cunnilingus.shtml
If he can't bring you to orgasm then the 2 of you can read these pages together. There is a lot of info on doing sex right on this site. Also check out the section about orgasm.
I give my wife far more orgasms with oral sex than with intercourse and I think this is true for most women.
I dated another woman many years ago who could only have one orgasm and she wanted it to be with oral for several reasons. One is that I liked doing it to her and another is that she had very intense orgasms with oral. It took her a long time to orgasm at times, but it was well worth it for both her and me. If a guy really cares about a woman having an orgasm then he really enjoys getting her there. It is at least half the fun of having sex for a guy like that. Just let yourself go and enjoy whatever he wants to do to get you to orgasm and enjoy the sex.
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A
female
reader, hemé'oono +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Sounds to me like you are the only thing standing in your way. You are self conscious for some reason and you need to find out why. If you can orgasm on your own then the only thing different is that he is in the room...
Just close your eyes and think about the things that make you cum on your own...
It'll happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Following on from Steve's answer, if he gives you oral he likes it. If he didn't like it he wouldn't do it - or at least, he wouldn't be very enthusiastic about it. Let yourself go. Enjoy what he's doing and if you feel like having an orgasm through oral then allow yourself to have one.
If you feel like you're taking too long to get there, use your fingers on your clit at the same time to speed the process up a bit. Don't be embarassed about doing that - the chances are it'll turn him on like crazy. From his point of view, if you're taking too long to get there he'll likely get cramp in his tongue which can be somewhat uncomfortable, but if you join in, clamp your thighs around his ears, make all the right noises and go wild he'll love it, I'm sure.
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