He's gone most of the time, I'm ready to leave. Thoughts??

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years now, during that time we broke up 3 times cause he had cheated on me, and yet i still took him back cause i love him or so i think i do. Im 31 years old now and we have one child together and another one on the way and iam not happy and i dont think he is either, i mean if he was you would think he would want to be at home with family instead of out doing the things he likes, well to be more clear on this this has been our routine for the past couple months; i get up take a shower, wake my child up get her dressed and feed and ready for school while he stays in bed till he has no choice to get up and than complains about work, money, this one or that one, and than he leaves for workm and than i take my child to school and i go work for the day, i pick her up and she comes to work with me and after work we head home, sometimes he his but most of the time he is not when he fnishes work half hour before me, so when i get i home i make supper and the odd he does to, we eat and than give or take 20 mins hes out the door, gone to his friends or a drive or whenever he says hes going, my daughter and i do our thing for the rest of the night till bed which isnt long cause she has school, and after that we get ready for bed i give her a snake watch hannah montana and than we head up to bed i read her a story and lay down with her and by that time im tired so i go to, he is still not home, by the time he gets home im half sleeping cause im 5 months pregnant and im tired and ive been in bed for 1 hour or 2, so i go to bed alone and we do it all over again the next day, i would have to say that out of a whole week he might be home 1 or 2 days of them but i still do the whole bed time thing with her, i work every second weekend and most she comes to work with me and if she doesnt he usually finds a place for her to go to while he does whatever it is he does, hes just never there, and once or twice a week he has to go and hang out with the boys get drunk and sometimes end up at the bar and come in when he wants and sleep in the the next day while we do our usually stuff, i tired of this behaviour when we got back together he said that he would change and that his family meant more to him than anything, well i dont see it and im fed up, and im confused i mean my daughter loves him so much and when i left the last time it really affected her and i feel that she should have 2 parents, but the way i see right now is that im a single mom but im not cause he lives there, i dont know im confused and i feel that i should stick it out till she gets a bit older but thats just stupid, doesnt my happiness count? i know he loves just not the way i love him and i dont think i can keep living this way, does anyone have any suggestions on what i should do cause iam so lost and lonley and all i really want is my family to be happy, and at this point im giving up and i dont want to but i cant force him into wanting to be with us, ive tried ultamatuims but that dont work, ive tried going out with him all the time, that dont work either, i tried many different things and they work but only for so long. is there anybody else out there that feels the way i do?

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, drunk, got back together, money

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A female reader, MamaBear  +, writes (4 May 2011):

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