A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, basically I'm a gay guy and have had a very attractive (to me) guy giving me the eye for a few weeks as a customer in the shop I work in, and I plucked up courage to ask him for a date, to be told very sweetly that he had a boyfriend - I said 'Oh I'm sorry I did'nt realise' and said I'd 'see you around'.The guy has been in the shop another 3 times since and I have developed feelings for him, I can feel a real electric spark between us, he waves at me discreetly from the queue in the shop, and winks at me, my colleagues say he's still giving me the come-on, I feel so too.I managed to chat briefly enough to exchange names with him now, and my colleagues say he would not have offered his had he not wanted me to know, so.... I am a little confused with this, fancy the pants off this guy but want advice on the best approch on the next steps?... people I know say that if its gate, then it will happen naturally ... however, the boyfriend thing worries me a little... any help or advice would be appreciated, C.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): Just letting the 3 'answerers' know, that I have quietly maintained an interest in this lovely guy, and managed to pass over a brief letter explaining how I would really like the chance to be able to get to know him, and added my phone/text No. and E-mail address - that way, IF he's interested in a serious way he could, if he wants, contact me and we can go from there... firmly throwing the ball in his court you might say....
and, that same evening he texted me and said "we'll have contact after this work trip" - which is over on Tuesday next, so I am really pleased about the fact he chose to contact me - of course, this does not guarantee a successful meeting or relationship, there's a long way to go, but I just might have been given the chance.
I do however wonder, quietly to myself, what happenned in 8 weeks of my originally asking him out and being told simply "I have a boyfriend"? Did the boyfriend exist? Has he, or is he dumping him anyway, or is this a chance he feels he wants to take anyway? Thanks for your advice, I am going to be cautious, a meal out may be a good first meet-up, and then we can see how we get on....
I'll keep you posted... Thanks again to the 3 repliers. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): I think I would go for it, Im a person who sees what I want and take it. Relationships always come and go, even if he brakes up with the other guy and you get with him doesnt mean later you wont brake up with him or the other way around. You win some and you loose some. If you want a fling I would go for it. If you want a relationship, then you nudge until you get what you want. Wouldnt sleep with him untill he brakes up with the bf.Keep on flirting to keep an open door, and let him now if he ever brakes up with his bf your interested, and that you wouldnt mind going out with him, while checking him out head to foot, then you breath in, and and say hmmmm in a sigh, kinda like in tomb-rader with Angilina Golee and her naked ex bf,hot. Then your next step, like the the next time you see him you ask for his cell # or email,facebook, and you could mention maybe that your going to the bar later, or out to eat and you dont have anyone to come with, and was wondering if he wouldnt mind tagging along, and if you offer to pay its a total date. During the last pickup line try to have soft/kind eyes. Anyways good look
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A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 I understand your like of this man, but please don't get involved with him.Why?He's already with someone now, and you don't want to become a part of a that "baggage". I'm pretty sure there are other men around that are "single" and can attract your attention just as much as this guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): Well, obviously the biggest obstacle in this situation is the boyfriend. If you feel a spark between yourself and this other guy, then you need to ask yourself some serious questions. Do you really want to entice him into cheating on his partner? You may not think so, but by flirting with him and coercing him to flirt back you are taking the first step, and we all know that the worst thing any person can do to another is to deceive them, treat them as a means to an end and put temptation on a higher pedestal than their meaningful relationships. If this guy is truly interested in you, then he will end the relationship. If he doesn't, then all you can do is accept your 'fate'. I don't really believe in the fate thing, but what I most certainly believe in is that if this guy does neither, sticks with his boyfriend and hooks up with you, then is he really the sort of person you want to be with?
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