A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little confused as to whether this guy likes me as a friend or more than a friend!I've known him for quite some time, he was my first boyfriend's best friend (when I was 14). We haven't seen each other for a very long time, we didn't stay in touch, although over the years we've bumped into each other now and again and it's always been very friendly. When we were younger there was definately an attraction and I always got a flirty vibe from him when we'd randomly bump into each other.Recently he looked me up on Facebook and probably for the last 6 months we've been casually messaging each other every so often. Sometimes in the message he'd write "luv ya" at the end, or put a few "x"s. He sends me sweet "virtual gifts" on Facebook and "blows kisses at me". I just thought he was being friendly. Then he invited me out for a drink, one night when he was with a few guy friends. He's rung me a few times to see if I wanted to go out on a bike (motorbike) ride with him, as in on the back of his (we're both mad about bikes but I don't have one). Everytime I was busy until a few days ago and we went out for an hour long ride. He said he loved having me on the back, I'd kept him warm, and every now and then he'd rest his hand on my leg for a few seconds or so. He hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek when he dropped me off home afterwards. Lately he's been calling/texting quite a bit, and seems keen to see me.I just really get that vibe from him, when you know someone is attracted to you, and you're attracted to them. We get on amazingly well, and I feel very relaxed around him (I can be a bit of a 'closed book', so I'm told, I find it hard to feel comfortable around people sometimes).So here comes why I'm confused, he has a girlfriend. They've been together just under a couple of years. He doesn't seem the type to cheatHe was honest with his GF when she called and he was with me, he said he was with me, so he's not deceiving her or anything. He lives with her so I assume it's serious however I've never asked him about his relationship and he's never really mentioned much about it.I wouldn't pursue someone who's taken, and I would never encourage a breakup. I guess I'm just wondering as to your thoughts on his behaviour/feelings really. I would like to have him as a friend even if nothing ever did develop between us.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jinjerblue  +, writes (21 July 2008):
Oh yeah, he likes you alright. It sounds like you are the "fantasy girlfriend" right now. Been there done that. If you don't want to get hurt or get in a love triangle, but you can't just stop seeing him, then start asking him pointed questions: So, how come you never talk about your girlfriend? If your girlfriend were here now watching you, would you hug and kiss me on the cheek like this? Put yourself in control, don't just let him guide things and then wonder what's up. But if he says, oh no, she's totally cool with me seeing you, then say, cool, let's all get together then, I'd love to meet such a cool person! ; ).
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