A
female
age
30-35,
*doresdior
writes:My and I boyfriend have been together for 4 months now, and recently we've had a problem with him staying hard during sex. I'm on birth control so we never use condoms but it's just so weird because during foreplay or oral sex he stays full on hard, but then when we have sex, after just 10 minutes into it he'll get soft. Then it's hard to get it up again. This has NEVER happened before until like 2 weeks ago and we've had a lot of sex lolDoes anyone know why this would suddenly happen? Like what if he's cheating on me or something? He doesn't get it either and he gets very frustrated with it too. Helpppp?!
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female
reader, adoresdior +, writes (15 December 2011):
adoresdior is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys! Nooo he's not stressed, I do think it's getting boring we have sex like at twice a day everyday.. Same like routine and everything so maybe it's just like too repative? We should prob tone it down a bit lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): Maybe you can make the experience more special? Change it up a bit. I mean everybody gets board after a while. Maybe don't have it all the time. Basically you should change up wat you're doing. I don't think he's falling out of love with you. But he really could just be board
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 Assuming he has no medical condition, Deadeyedick hits it. I agree with what he states.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (15 December 2011):
 I'll tell you from personal experience, and this is short, simple, and will kill your boner dead, STRESS!!! of any sort, stress about bills, about life, or Ive even been stressed cause I was worried I wouldn't be able to get it up, which made me stress more, and not get hard, that's the first place I'd look if he just started not being able to get hard, out of nowhere!
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (15 December 2011):
Well it's v unlikely - but not impossible - to be some kind of physical problem but it would be worth checking out if he has med coverage.
Plus the doc could prescribe Viagra or similar to be tried for a couple of weeks.
Thing is once a pattern sets in where there is anxiety about whether he can stay hard enough for long enough then yes that can become self- fulfilling - so the Viagra might gove him the confidence to break free from the self destructive fear of becoming mr droopy...... Worth trying at least.
Report back on your findings.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 December 2011):
 How's his health? Does he use drugs or alcohol before sex? Is there any stress in his life?
Maybe take a break from sex for a bit and see what happens after a week or 2 of abstinence.
Maybe he's feeling pressure to 'perform' and now that this issue has cropped up, he's in a cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy. "Oh no, I'm going to lose my hard-on, I'm going to lose my hard-on, I'm going to lose my hard-on, oh crap, I've lost my hard-on."
Just take a break from intercourse for a while and see if things improve the next time. If they don't, he can pop in to see his doctor and get a check up!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 This isn't erectile dysfunction. It sounds to me like he isn't getting turned on enough during sex. Bit off topic...are you sure you want to be with someone if you are suspicious of them cheating?
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