A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there, I've decided to come to you guys for some advice. Me and this guy have been going out for almost 4 months now and most of the time i've been really happy with him and we both really love each other (although sometimes i think he's more into the relationship than i am ...) Anyway, over the last month we've had lots of little spats - largely started by me over little things like his lateness, him beign snappy at work etc and although he always tries and usually imporoves these things there always seems to be something else that crops up a bit later on. Now i don't know what to do, if i'm honest i think the fact that i lost my virginity to him made me slightly more desperate to stay with him but i do love him but my mood with him tends to flip. Sometimes i don't even know why, like one hour i'll be really in love and then next minute i'll just want some space. Like today he took me out for a meal with his friend but after an hour decided to drop me off straight after and go off with his friend who'd come to stay and i just felt it was a bit like a half hearted effort. God, i dont' know what to do i really love him and he's so good to me but why does my mood flip with him so often and why do i always get bothered by nitty gritty things?! I don't think i want to break up with him, but even Mum said i'm starting to look a bit run down and that i should find a new boyfriend! ALthough i guess that's a factor, because i'm from a christian home (i'm not sure about my faith) Mum particullarly wasn't too keen on me going out with a 24 year old non-christian (i'm 19 in August) and keeps dropping hints it won't last and i should end it after arguments she's always like 'Ohhh, so are you going to break up.' It's like she wants us too - which also adds pressure. He does so much for me but i just can't help getting moody on occassion and always having little spats with him, what should i do?!Please help me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CEP  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 I understand how you feel completely, when me and my girlfriend started going out, I very very often questioned if I loved her and she and I are both virgins, and now we've been together for over a year and we're going to get married in a few years. and on the issue that you and him are lovey dovey one minute, then arguing the next, I'll tell you: it happens, quite simply, it's just plain normal to be happy then mad the next minute, that's the difficulty of a relationship, so just work out your problems, even if you have to get some space from each other for a few hours then come back and talk about it later, don't worry about it being perfect or not, because if you both truly love each other deeply, then you'll both go the distance and stick through the difficult times, and yeah, having sex will definitely make things more difficult and that's just a plain fact, I don't want to make you feel guilty, so I'll leave that part at that. But about matters of faith, my girlfriend and I are both strong Christians, I don't want to get too spiritual on you and make you turn away from faith, but having that in your life and your relationship would help it greatly. Now parents....hhhhmm lol yeah, parents can be jerks sometimes, and I know it's difficult that your mom berates you, and in the most desperate situation, your boyfriend might have to prove to your mom that he can take care of you regardless of age, and if he really loves you, then he'll gladly figure out a way to prove himself. I hope I helped even if it was just a little bit.
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