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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship with a man for 13 months and he has become increasingly controlling,accusing me of things i say and do, which i dont,he gets very angry if i say something he doesnt like and will call me names during arguments.He is now saying that i am very cold towards him.People say that he plays mind games with me so why do i find it so hard to leave this man.I love him and he just says he is being honest with me,i dont know what to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): Men (or people in general)who do this sort of thing are normally very insecure and often feel you are too good for them, so they think that if they put you down and make you feel bad, you will become reliant on them and it bolsters their confidence. A guy who truly loved you as you are would not have to resort to this kind of behaviour to keep you. I was in a relationship very similar to this for 10 years, where he constantly put me down and made me feel that no one but him could ever love me, my confidence was so low that i felt i must be doing something to provoke him and that i should try harder because I loved him so much. I left him two years ago and although it was difficult (primarily because we had children together) I found the courage and strength to get on with my life, I have met someone now, who treats me with the utmost respect and I just wish i had left my put-down partner years ago.
If you love your partner and do want to stay with him, you will have to give him an ultimatum and if he loves you, he will stop or at least try and get help, but if he doesn't change, be strong and move on please...you never know to what extent he'll go with his temper
- an understanding woman
A
female
reader, miss_luvbug +, writes (3 December 2006):
I have been in this situation before also. Me and my now ex-boyfriend of 2 years were constantly fighting. Whenever we fought he would say I was being a bi**h and would call me other names also. We would always break up and I would miss him so we;d go back togetherEventually after like 10 breakups in 2 years I finally had the courage to call it off FOR GOOD. I ignored all his calls and emails and eventually I found someone new and got over him and im glasd i did it now
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): Some men get really jealous and want you all to themselves this man may of had previous partners who have not been very nice. is there anything that you think has triggerd him off? has he always been like this? There is no other way of sorting things out unless you talk to him let him know how you are feeling. hope this helps
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