A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dumped my ex twice within a three month period. He was controlling and acted more as my father than my boyfriend. He would ask me what I was doing when I was too busy to text him back quick enough, or when I occasionally didn't initiate contact. On Monday, which was the day I dumped him for the second time, he even told me that I was obligated to give him a reason as to why I took a couple of hours to respond to his text. I was actually busy at the time. When I asked him why, his response was, "Because I said so."One day I had visited him for half of the day, and when I told him that I had to get back home to study, he said, "F*** that, I come first." Honestly, I have insecurity issues in which I'm working on, but he won't work on his trust issues and won't do anything about his anger issues either. When we had our last argument last Monday, I ended up asking him to give me another chance, and he said, "Of course but there are things we have to discuss." So I called him the very next day, and he never responded to my call. He hasn't contacted me since. During the argument via text, he mentioned, "This is the second time you broke up with me. And now I'm dropping YOU." He simply wanted to get the last word in order to feel a sense of control during the argument. I was firm in my decision at the time, and I guess it made him pull back. But then when I pulled back, I gave him the upper hand. Today is his birthday, and I still haven't contacted him.I'm feeling down and I'm missing him. He has issues and simply wants control all of the time. Is there something wrong with me as to why I want him back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Most women are into dominant, powerful guys. Your case is just a bit stronger than the average, and you are attracted to the fact that you can't control him and he's willing to assert himself so brazenly.
The only real way to fix it is to cut all contact. Dump him, move on, no answering calls or texts, no second (or third) chances, just move on and find a new guy. This time around, try to be careful to find a confident, assertive guy who uses his powers for good.
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