A
female
age
30-35,
*ulu55
writes:X is someone I recently met. He's fun to talk to and we started seeing each other more often. We hung out for a few week and really liked each other. When he was younger he never had a serious relationship except one for 6 months. All the other girls were "for fun" but never sex. Just yesterday he asked me why I talked to my guy friends, the question confused me because it's normal to have them. I told him that it's because they are my friends.He told me that it bothers him that I hang out with them because he doesn't trust them. I'm not a stupid person and the signs were well in my face by then. I have enough self respect to say that he has no right to make me choose between him and my guy friends. He got upset of course and he cooled down minutes later an appologized. I stood my ground but now I have no idea how to fix his controlling personality. I dont want to just leave, I'd much rather try getting rid of it first but I have no idea how. How can I get him to not control my life? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Sorry, honey, you can't "fix" him. That is most likely why he doesn't have more then one serious relationship in his past.
Him wanting to control who you talk to is just the beginning. If you two get more serious, he'll want to control everything else.. step by step.
I'd let this one go.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 November 2011):
 YOU can't "fix" his controlling personality. All you CAN DO is stay away from him.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (26 November 2011):
 You can't get him to change overnight since he's been this way for a while. I don't think there's any real method to do this except to stand your ground and stick with all of your friends (guy or girl). They were there before him and they must be pretty good friends if they're still in your life, so don't let them go just because he came into the picture. Hang out with them as you normally do, and let him know that he has nothing to worry about. If he can't trust you, then you might as well not start something. He says he doesn't trust the other guys, but it's just another way of saying he doesn't trust you either. You're an adult like they are, and when with them, each of you have an equal opportunity to keep things at a friendship level or not. No guy friend has more control over you than you do yourself when it comes to staying just friends. If he can't trust that you'll be faithful now, then it won't get any better down the road. It's only been a few weeks, and he's already objecting to your lifestyle. Like I said, there's not a sure method to stop him from being controlling, unless someone else can add some info.
...............................
|
