A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello.I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a very kind, sweet guy whom I was at school with - for about a year it has been a long distance relationship as we're now at different universities. I'm physically attracted to him, but sometimes I feel bored when I'm with him - I feel our interests are too different, however I admire many of his qualities (especially things I feel I lack, like honesty and will-power). He is christian and will not have sex with me. I really feel like I want to, and that it's a part of the life I want to live. I feel like I might just end up breaking up with him because I want to have sex. Is this stupid? Or are we just too incompatible? I'm young, and not seeing him for up to 10 weeks at a time really gets me down sometimes - I feel like life is for living, and I'm missing out by not either being free or being content in the relationship I'm in.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 I do understand how you feel. I'm waiting myselfe. I am a Christian myselfe and me and my boyfriend choosed to wait till we will be married - so I know how hard it is waiting, but I also know how much I meen to him for his is not with me just for sex! He loves me so much that he want to have my (and his) best and in a Christians eyes best is to wait for sex for Mr. or Mrs Right. I know there is always the chance that it won't work - but this chance is less once you are married, because before you will get married, you will think twice about this! So the time before you will get married you are testing if you really will be with this person for the rest of the life. But if you only are testing, it would not be fair to test wether sex will be good or not. Once you have sex, you commit yourself to your partner in quite a different way.
I know lots of others will not agree with me, but as I am a Christian myselfe, I just would like to try to tell you why he is waiting. For him, to wait shows his real love to you. To wait meens he has a lot of respect for you. I hope, you will try to understand this and appreciate him for this.
One other thing, which will maybe make it easier for you to wait: Once you have sex with him, it would be much more difficult to wait for the next time. And you said, sometimes you are not seeing him up to 10 weeks... What will happen in this time if you can't wait?
Hope this will help a little to understand him.
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