A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone me and my boyfriend have been together for three years we have a one-year-old son together. Lately he has been acting strange. For example Saturday I was going out and I changed my mind. He kept trying to talk me into going. I was only going to see family so I went and took our son with me. I got back a few hours later and the front door was locked this may seem like nothing to anyone else but in the three years we've been together he's never done this. Also he was wearing deodorant which he has never worn. It also feels like he's avoiding me. I hardly saw him at all yesterday as he's always in his shed. In the three years we have been together we have never argued. Any ideas what could be going on? I can't talk to him as he says I'm nagging. Thank you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 December 2015):
 Don't you have a key for the front door? If not, why not?
OP, you say that in the years you've been together you have never argued. But then you go on to say that you can't talk to him about this (and I'm guessing other things) because he says you are nagging.
So you haven't been actually communicating for the past years. He shuts you down by saying you are nagging.
You obviously have a concern that he's cheating and feel so powerless that you can't figure out how to address it.
I'm going to suggest that you are in an abusive relationship and don't quite know how to cope.
Call, oops, sorry! As you are in the UK, ring this number: 0808 2000 247 or visit https://www.womensaid.org.uk to talk through this situation.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): He's up to something I just don't know what. Maybe he was needing a bit if time to himself. As you know its hard work with a baby in the house.
How is everything else? Sex etc.... Well the signs of a cheater have a pattern. Mobiles internet activity appearance moods. Acting strangely. Giving u none or over attentive. Buying u guilty gifts ir causing arguements to leave the house etc. If this is happening he is sure pointing to the signs he is cheating. But u cant do anything without the proof. So bed ur child one night and make him a nice meal n talk ro him. Fuss over him and see how he acts. He could be feeling neglected because u have ur focus on the child. Nip it in the bud now before he strays xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): Hi,I'm sorry if I am on the wrong track, but because he is sprucing himself up and constantly trying to get you away from the house, I've got the impression that he is having an affair (don't panic! I might be totally wrong! He may also have a bad self-image and mild depression and is trying to come to grips by himself, by making himself feel more attractive and giving himself more alone time to focus on thinking about what he wants in life).What does he do in the shed? Maybe you should check the place out.Look for things like bottles of alcohol, empty or full, more deodorant bottles, decorations... Anything that doesn't belong in a shed. If he is making it homely, I'd be worried about depression (there is no way he would have a mistress in a shed). If he talks on the phone, either he has to work from home or he is chatting with a mistress (just because the other person is female doesn't mean it is a mistress. Remember that). Has he renovated the shed into an office? Work stress. Does it look like normal? Maybe he is doing extra gardening or repairs to distract himself from what's troubling him. Or he might be busy with a surprise or present for you (Christmas is coming up, remember?) and is finding ot hard to keep it from you.I do hope that all is okay in your relationship. Do not assume that something is wrong. Many men make it look like something is wrong when it is actually just because they are too deep in thought to realize that his behavior is troubling others around them. Best of wishes!
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