| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and he has started calling me less and it's driving me crazy! It began during my exam period (it's been 2 months now). He claims he was giving me space to do my own thing and that he's busy too with work. He used to call and chat every night but nowadays he's not so eager to talk anymore. I got frustrated because I felt totally disconnected and he wasn't there for me when I needed support.My main issue is with the dwindling eagerness. He still meets me regularly, at least twice a week, and calls me daily but his calls are often short and perfunctory and I don't feel the 'connection'.When we do meet up he's still affectionate but it's no longer the same as before.Am I being overly worried and insecure? It hurts me when he doesn't bother to ask about my day or tell me that he misses me. Just to clarify, yes, I have been acting rather needy and take responsibility for that. But I guess it's hard to deal with the change since he doesn't seem to miss or need me anymore. He's still sweet and patient but what I really want is the eagerness and desire that he used to feel for me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 "Just to clarify, yes, I have been acting rather needy and take responsibility for that"
You really answered your own question.
You are bf and gf. You are not conjoined twins.
Relationships DO shift. You have been together almost a whole year. Most relationships have a "honeymoon" period in the start, usually the first 3-6 mos. Then you shift into a much more comfortable pace. He is USED to you now.
He may still get moments here and there of that eagerness, but not as often when the relationship is new.
If you keep being worried and insecure, HE WILL BACK AWAY if you get too clingy. Give him space TO miss you.
His actions are the same-giving you time, calls, and space. It is you that doesnt feel the connection.
Have you talked to him about doing some new activities together? Maybe you are in a relationship rut.
Best Wishes.
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