A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. Um, my boyfriend and I have been in a real rough place lately. We've been together since freshman year (now we're juniors in HS) and everything's always been pretty great. About 5 months ago, one our really good friends unexpectedly died. He and I were both really affected by it. During the immediate aftermath, we had a hard time telling each other what was on our minds and just connecting with each other in general. Now, 5 months later, it's still really hard to talk to him. Sometimes it'll be like old times and we'll be just like we used to be, but most of the time it's just hard. I know we both are still dealing with our friend's death but I need him to talk to. He understands me more than most people and I just need to be able to tell him how I feel. But's ever since the death, he's just been closed off, so I don't want to burden him with my problems. I try to talk to him about him to see if he'll tell me what's going on and I get nothing out of him. I love him and I just want to help. But I feel like he might feel differently about me. I don't know what to do. Advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Write him a love letter. Tell him you want him back, to work thru your friend's passing together since you are equally affected. Ask him to open up, talk to you coz his bottling emotions up will do him more harm than good.tell him you so in love with him.hope his heart heals soon, goodluck
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Dealing with a friend's death at that age can be very difficult for your boyfriend to pull through. He doesn't know how to express his feelings, or does he know what to think of this shocking event. It seems to be he's in the process of trying to cope with it and would benefit by talking to a counselor at school.
There's nothing you can really do help him through the process and your problems won't even matter at the moment. It's nothing you're doing wrong, it's just a bad time in his life. I would try to talk to him and see if he'll talk to a counselor at school, seeing as bottling up these emotions isn't healthy.
If he continues with this reserved nature, I would tell his parents out of concern..they could have him talk to someone. Just to get it off his chest.
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