A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together about a year and a half, and he wants a break. He feels bored in the relationship, like we are just "going around in circles". He says all the things that we used to find exciting together are no longer fun and it just feels like the same old routine. He says the spark is gone, even though he still loves me. He's a real party-loving outgoing guy, and I'm scared that if he's bored, he'll leave me.Is "a break" just a prolonged break-up?How can I SURVIVE a break when I can't stop thinking about him and worrying about what decision he'd going to make?And how, if he decides he wants to try again, do we bring the spark back into our relationship?
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 I don't believe in breaks. You either break up or stay together, because in my opinion, taking a 'break' is really just a way of giving your boyfriend/girlfriend permission to cheat while keeping you in the background in case it doesn't work out with someone else.
By suggesting a break, he's already leaving you in a way. If he can't make a decision between breaking up and staying together, let him go. Don't let him make you his backup plan just because he's 'bored'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): I think that you should define what he means by break and perhaps talk to him about how things could be improved before he takes this action, at least so you know where you stand. Or perhaps you could say I can give you space, instead of having a break. A break sounds so much more final! I think that with regards to him being bored, guys get bored easily and need variety. Things need to be shaken up, go to new places, do things you wouldn't usually do. Anything to get away from the old routine. Perhaps space is what he needs to appreciate you again, so I don't think it's wise to push him too hard on this. I think in the meantime you should go out with your friends and have a good time. Try not to contact him or be clingy. This will surely make him miss you and realise what he is missing! I hope this helps
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