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female
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*oodbye
writes: My boyfriend whom I've been with my two years left me a week ago from Sunday. He went to church on Sunday, I let him borrow my car and then I didn't hear from him the rest of the night after he dropped off my car. We live together and I worried when I hadn't heard from him so naturally I called a couple of times and then in the morning called a couple of his friends.I got a text message from him not until 1 in the afternoon saying I'm fine I just need some time. Then on Tuesday he called me and I didn't pick up because I felt he needed some more time. Wednesday I had this really uneasy feeling that he was talking to another girl. When I checked his messages there were messages from two different girls on the answering machine. I was heartbroken, even if they were just friends these messages were anything more than just friends. I took down the numbers not to call them but to see where they lived. I asked a girlfriend where she thought the numbers where from. A couple days later on Saturday I went by our old house to pick up some things and there he was. Our conversation wasn't that great he seemed like a different person when I was talking to him. So when I asked him about if he was seeing another girl or talking or hanging out he said no. If she was just a friend why would he be hiding her. Then he got a missed call on his cell, of course it was her. When he jumped into the shower he asked me to leave the room and he locked the door behind me. I left the room to check his messages and sure enough it was her. I have never done anything like this before I felt so horrible. Once I came back into the room I couldn't hold it in anymore I asked him who Melissa was and the got very defensive and implied who have I been talking to? He still didn't give me a straight answer. I left and later that night he called me to see how I was doing? I said alright and he said he was doing alright. The day after that my friend whom I asked where she thought the number was from called this girl and talked to her. I didn't ask her to talk to this girl she did that herself. The girl told my friend they were just friends and that they were going to church together. She said some things she shouldn't of have to this girl and my man heard everything. He is very upset now. What do I do I have never been in this situation before, please anybody help me???
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 If he is just friends with this girl he is doing a lot of secretive behaviour and so my guess is that it may just be plutonic now but he is working up to making it much more and you will be ditched.
So get in there first and finish with him, tell him you are sick of this furtive behaviour and as he wanted some space he can have it, permanantly!!
Dont put your self through anymore agony on his behalf.
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