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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I have been in a relationship with a guy for three years who lives two hours away.when we are together we have a fantastic time and he really feels like the one for me. however he recently stayed with me for a week and i felt we were closer more than ever.i love him dearly. however on our nite out i found out after looking at his phone that he'd been texting a girl quite intimately.this has happened before,i forgave him and rebuilt my trust in him. but this time i went absolutely ballistic and threw him out of my house at 3am! we haven't spoken since, my friends have told me to leave him well alone. but i feel so sad and hurt and am even worrying whether he got home ok.what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): This is a followup, thank you for your advice. Its been over two weeks and he hasn't contacted me so sadly I think that the relationship is over. Even though I am missing him dreadfully I'm sure that in time things will feel better.
A
male
reader, Gryphon +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Anger may have gotten the best of you that time, but let’s face it - if this was already a problem and you worked it out once then he really shouldn't be doing it again if he meant to stop it. Chances are he got home fine and I think quite honestly that it's his turn to do some explaining. I feel he must make the initiative to try and turn things around this time or risk losing you, and as hard as it hurts I don't think he will learn anything from the experience if you go out of your way to make your worries about him known. It will be tough, and I'm sorry you have to go through this but I say let him come back to you and then decide whether or not to forgive him this time. If he is really passionate about you then he will come back, if not then I hate to say it but he was never yours to begin with.
Best wishes…
~Jake~
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2006): you should finish with him. my girl friend done the same i kept try but it she didnt stop. if you go back with him he will think he has got away with it
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A
male
reader, been there done that +, writes (1 May 2006):
You should not be worrying about this. He did you wrong remember not the other way round and remember this is the 2nd time. You gave him a chance before and he blew it. I agree with your mates leave him well alone go out have fun with your girl friends, have time to yourself, with family whatever you want to do BUT NOT with him. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance true, but you gave him his and he's just thrown it back in your face. He may say all the right words but he clearly does not mean them otherwise he wouldn't have done it again. You are worth soooooo much more than that and deserve more than he will ever be.
In time he will realise this (may take a few year) and only then will he be truely sorry. Do not wait around for him let him be alone and miserable and you go have fun girl!!!!
Stay strong and remember you can do it with the support of your friends
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