A
female
age
36-40,
*il-kitten-02
writes:My boyfriend has been taking me for granted lately and I began pulling away to do my own thing. Last night he told me that I don't love him or care about him anymore. I responded "if this is a break up, just be up front with me and I will go on with my life. I guess he did not like than response and started crying. I told him that he was faking and just wanted me to end it. then out of the blue, he started talking about commitment and how he needed me. I told him about the time that I said that to him and he ignored it. Question is: what should i do because i love him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 "CONGRATULATIONS AND A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!" God Bless You!
A
female
reader, lil-kitten-02 +, writes (23 April 2010):
lil-kitten-02 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the wonderful advice. You all have me smiling--which I really need right now!
I do not live with him but have spent more time over there than I should. I want to put myself first and I feel that with my birthday tommorrow, I need to be first!
Thanks once again!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Bravo! You pulling away and being independent and not needing him became irresistible to him. You accomplished what a lot of lonely women in loveless relationships want.
My advice? Keep being mysterious. Don't always tell him where you are or what you're doing. Keep him thirsty for you. Laura is right - actions speak louder than words!
What you're doing is right! Keep it up!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (23 April 2010):
Sit back and let him do the chasing. Action is stronger than words. Words without action is like faith without deeds.
Let him proves to you what he said .He needs to show his appreciations and love more fervently.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (23 April 2010):
Take it slow. He's acting this way because he's starting to think that he's about to lose you (you're playing this off good by the way). Don't commit to anything just yet, but let him know that you've felt like he's taken you for granted in the past and that he needs to prove himself in order for you to see any future with him.
If you just jump right back in and act like everything is fine, he'll probably start taking you for granted again and go back on what he told you once he becomes comfortable again. Games suck, but unfortunately you sometimes have to keep them on their toes for them to realize what they're missing.
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A
male
reader, DwayneC +, writes (23 April 2010):
 If he ignored what you had to say then you should have asked him about it again. I don't know if you live with him or not but you need to sit down and talk to him about his and your feelings toward each other because he may be looking for attention. We all have that time of vulnerability so take this to your advantage and see whats going on with him. You may find out whether its worth staying or leaving.
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