A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I just got engaged, and now he nitpicks over everything, does he want me to break it off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): change the below comment from: "if he goes because you ARE tolerating his crap..then you haven't lost much of a guy, have you?"
to
"if he goes because you AREN'T tolerating his crap..then you haven't lost much of a guy, have you?"
Sorry about the error.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): We can't tell you why he's 'nitpicking' you, hun. But you can get smart..get strong, start communicating what you don't like about what he's doing. No need to do it in a confrontational way. Just set some clearly thought out boundaries with him..pronto. When you set up boundaries, you tell him what you will allow him to do and not to do, in this realtionship. Boundaries allow you to look after your feelings, attitudes, behaviours, limits and thoughts. You can not assume responsibility for other people’s feelings or behaviors. This is problem-he owns it. You can only state how you desire to be treated in life. Just believe that you have every right to be treated with respect and courtesy. Try doing this and you will know soon enough where he stands. He will either 'tow the line' and give you the respect you deserve or he'll leave the relationship. You can't lose here because either way, you keep your self-respect. if he goes because you are tolerating his crap..then you haven't lost much of a guy, have you? Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): no he just thinks that you love him so much you'll put up with any thing and that isnt the case no is it? well love is a gift not something that you should use and let him know how you feel
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