| A ,
anonymous
writes: Myself, husband and 6 mth old baby relocated from the Channel Islands 4 mths ago to set up business, leaving our friends and family. It's been tough. No work came in, making us argue. He was bad tempered and being a full time mum I was very busy while he sat around getting depressed.But he got a contract back in Channel Isles for 4 weeks. He been gone 1 week and he is desperately missing us but I'm not missing him.I sat and thought what I miss about him and can't think of anything. I'm going over there in a week to stay and I really want to be pleased to see him. What if when he gets back home I resent him being here? We used to be very close before I had our baby but it's all changed .
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Aunty Ann +, writes (21 April 2005):
I’m not surprised that you are not missing your husband. You are probably glad of a break! This doesn’t mean your relationship is in crisis, it just needs breathing space. You have recently had a baby and no doubt feel vulnerable. All the change you have experienced has added to your vulnerability, which is compounded by your isolation and loneliness. You harbour feelings of resentment to your husband because you are the one left holding the baby. When you have had time to settle in after all the recent upheaval, these feelings will lessen. I suspect that it is the situation and pressure you have been under is the source of these feelings, not your husband personally. Try not to focus too much on your relationship. Put yourself first. Try and integrate yourself into your new community by joining mother and baby groups. Making new friends will help ease your feelings of isolation. When you feel that you have got your own life, your feelings of resentment will also diminish. You have both been under a lot of pressure, and you especially need time to readjust to the changes. Try talking to your husband. Sharing your problems could bring you closer together again. Remember why you fell in love with him. He’s still the same person, it’s just a lot of stress has got in the way. These problems won’t last forever. You will find new ways of being close, through the shared joy you both have in your baby. Find a place for yourself, and everything else will fall into place.Hope I’ve been of helpGood luckAunty Ann
|
