A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've started seeing a guy (well just before Christmas).We get on really well. Have loads in common. We do have an age gap of 11 years (he's older).Recently he's been acting distant from me. We communicate via text throughout most the week (as we both work and have weekends off). So 9 times out of 10 we will see each other at the weekend. He's messaging me a bit less now, but we still see each other at the weekends and he acts fine with me just like we always do.I understand that he has his own life, his own bills to pay, his own friends and family that he has to see. I'm just a bit worried that he's going off me. Or am I over reacting and should give him some space?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2016): You should always pump the breaks on your feelings for a guy you're just starting to date. Evaluate his personality and habits. Get to know him in a deliberate and thoughtful way. Even check his temper. Avoid men with short fuses!
You're grasping for straws and over-thinking the whole situation; because you may be just a little anxious to have a boyfriend. "Slow your roll!"
Letting your feelings get ahead of you is how most of us get hurt. He may be getting distant, because he may sense your anxiousness. Guys just don't move that fast with our emotions. Dial it back, and stay on the same page.
Guys that do move too fast are usually a little scary. Most women I know seem to be spooked by that.
Be calm and let nature take its course. Stop "texting" so much. Drop an occasional "call" to say "hello" at reasonable hours. Usually just before or after work, lunchtime,or just before bedtime. You don't have to constantly remind him you exist. You don't want to come across as insecure or desperate. That spooks men!
As you say, things otherwise go well. He has to get his life in order; because most of us working stiffs live for the weekend. I always look forward to seeing my boyfriend at the end of the week. He runs his own business, and I manage an office full of people. When we share our together-time, it's great. We miss each other. He hates texting, and so do I. We chat on lunch-breaks, but sometimes he or I get so tied-up; we may not see each other all week. Our calls may be short, but we do see each other more than we used to. It's a more established relationship now. Not at the very beginning.
Yet it's still going strong. Patience is very important.
Women watch too many romantic movies; where men behave in ways we don't in reality. Women don't either!!!
I sort of disagree about the presumption that a guy will be constantly all over you, if he's crazy about you. You don't really want a guy who's "crazy" about you. You want him to be attentive, affectionate, thoughtful, and sweet. It doesn't have to be poured on by the buckets-full; there's something suspicious (if not spooky) when guys go over-board and pour it on too thick. What keeps the romance hot is missing each other. The anticipation of seeing each other at the end of a long busy week! You make up for the lost time.
When together conversations should include where the love connection is going. If he shows you lots of affection when you're together; actions speak louder than words.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 January 2016):
 You can ask him if you are dating or just hanging out. One month is around the time you decide if you like each other enough to be exclusive. He could be shy and waiting for you to initiate that conversation. He might feel he's too old for you. If you worry about crowding him. It's not time yet. When a guy is crazy about you, he would drop everything to be with you. So get the uncertainty out of the way. You just want an answer, you are not trying to control his time or smother him. You could go slow if you want to. But first you want to know if you are on the same page. If you give him space that he didn't ask for, he might interpret that as disinterest so that doesn't work in your favour.
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