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female
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*hevvy
writes: shera was dating a man for about a year, he experienced a problem in his family life- he just had a baby with someone else and he told Shera the situation may cause him his relationship with her. A couple of weeks following his discussion about his problem, he calls her and tells her he needs time to sort himself out if she wants to she can wait until he has sorted himself out. A year has passed, and she contacted him again for the first time, he sounded very please to hear from her but hardly calls. Occasionally, shera would still call him but the conversations are less than a minute. One day he came to her work to do his business and he said to her by way of conversation "you're the one acting mysterious". Only recently, he started showing a interest again.I need to know what point is he at and should I continue with the ralationship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): Shera, this man has treated you badly. He had moved on with his life and he has gave you the brush off. Now he's back because it's likely his other relationship (the one with the Mother of his child) is not working out-it's likely got stagnant. We don't know for sure but it's likely. Their preferred relationship goes awry so they go for 'plan B', meaning you. But the minute he starts dating 'plan B'- it's possible the gf and child could take precedence again and he will do the same to you again someday. Why take the chance and always be caught up in this melodrama? It's hurtful and it's disrespectful. I am surprised that you waited a whole year for him...many of us wouldn't do that. Many women I talk to would wait a limit of 2 months, if that..then they'd pack it in.. So, no you shouldn't continue with this relationship. He's much too of a liability-he dumped you once when he got another woman pregnant while in a relationship with you. Use your head and discriminate if he's a good candidate, for a good future with you.
I am sorry to be blunt..and I understand you are experiencing the normal feelings that happen to many women, when they open their hearts and bodies to someone and become far too emotionally close. People do this because they want intimacy and love. But, one usually does this with other people who are open to relationships. I think you want a deep and rewarding relationship. You will have that...but not with this guy. Best thing to do...send him back to the Mother of his child and tell him to be 'responsible and give his child the best chance at a happy stable future with a mom and dad who love each other'. Good luck, my dear and I wish you the very best.
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