A
female
age
36-40,
*iro
writes:I have this guy I met in tertiary, we met when I was stranded one night, because I wouldnt sleep with his friend. He took me home we kissed and the rest is history. We have been dating on and off for 2yrs now. He cheated last year Oct for the 3rd time, the relationship carried on, though it was not the same. We broke up without saying anything to each other 2008 february and now his back. I have been putting an end to the relationship on and off. I really love this guy, we didnt speak to each other for almost 2months, I tried dating, but I think I attracted the worst case scenarios. Hes back, he wants us to commit and have a baby, he is someone I see myself with for the rest of my life (because of the way he makes me feel and the way he treats me when he's not cheating). He knows im excited that we are back together but I really dont know what to do anymore, I have tried a lot to make it work and have ran out of suggestions PLZ HELP?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Smiles is so right here. What's the rush? Why do you feel the need to commit to him right this minute? Why not just take things one step at a time. Work on the issues that drove you apart in the first place.
I'd be very cautious with him if he's proven himself to be willing to cheat on you. Unless he's somehow managed to put that part of his life into the past, and has acknowledged that this is a real issue for you, I wouldn't rush into ANYTHING with him. Especially having children.
It is possible to love someone madly, and still be incompatible with them in terms of actually building a life together. I think a real test of a relationship is how he makes you feel when things are NOT going well. When there's a crisis or an argument, and there will almost always be one in any relationship, the truly committed partner will still make you feel that you are the most important thing in the world. That you can work through things together, that you do not have to worry about them cutting and running, especially to someone else, when things get a bit tough.
Take it slow, be very cautious, don't rush into this commitment. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): DONT RUSH, not into the relationship and DO NOT consider a baby; (you are not in a happy and committed relationship);
a baby is not a doll that you can just cast a side; it needs the love and support of two parents;it is a large responsibality.
I suggest you and this guy should discuss the issues that have greated problems in the past; try and resolve that first;
then date for a year or more; then get engaged and get married and then after start thinking about a baby;
If this guy have a history of cheating, you have to be very cautious not to rush into a relationship or pregnancy.
Take it slow; remember, a bay will not keep him with you or stop him from cheating;
Communication is very important and you must keep your eyes wide open; whislt trying to resolve past issues; ask yourself and make sure about it; is this the guy I want to be with forever?
Enjoy dating him and let him proof his sincerity and love and respect to you; you two need time lots of time on your own before you should think about a baby that is going to be demanding.
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