A
female
age
41-50,
*ex82toyotagrrl
writes:My husband's attitude towards sex has changed a lot in the last few months, it's not like his sex drive has shot up, that's stayed the same, it's rather what he wants to do to me sexually that's worrying.He's asked me to dress up like a fireman, and parade around, knowing all the time that it wasn't me turning her on, but the fantasy he's created. Also, he's sometimes even asked me to dress up and act like Brad Pitt too, which is worrying me. He even asked me if I would get my body all muscled and toned like the Chippendales and wants me to dress up like one (weird!)I have tried to have a civil discussion with him about this topic, but he insists what he wants to do will enrich our sex life. I can't see how the above will make it better. I told him my feelings, tried to find out why he was doing this, and he said it was to make our sex life better.However, he said he was doing this for fun. I asked him outright if he'd ever had any feelings towards men in the past, due to his suggestions, and he said no, he likes women only, but how can I be sure it's genuine?I did communicate as best as I could, but he seemed to be reluctant to discuss this.How can I deal with this effectively? He just will not relent in trying to get me to do these.I'm all for trying new things, but these are just a bit too shocking - and I told him that but he just kept insisting I should do the above things mentioned(dress up like a fireman, dress up and act like Brad Pitt, dress up as a Chippendale and act like one!)Please help me, I'm getting nowhere with this!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): he wants to dress up LIKE A MAN to have sex with you.
of course he would not admit to you he is gay.
this is not fun- it is degrading since i think you suspect his sexual orientation.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 September 2009):
 Hi,
different strokes for different folks I guess. But as you are not into this I fear for your future.
It is very unusual these requests, and he is kidding himself if he thinks you are not going to question his sexuality because of it.
From my perspective he is using you to fill the gaps in his sexual life , gaps which currently lack the involvement of men. I would be very worried if I were you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Well, to see the glass as half-full, it's a good sign that he trusts you enough to share his fantasies with you.
I understand, though, why you see this as strange. It sounds damned odd to me, too. I've never heard of a husband wanting a fireman or male stripper before. I don't suppose he's mentioned a strap-on yet?
It does seem as though he's got a gay/bi itch to scratch. The good news is that if he can get you to scratch it, then you don't have to worry about him bringing home a STD.
The bottom line, of course, is that you have to be comfortable with what he's asking you to do, and I suspect most people wouldn't be. If you're getting nowhere with your attempts to communicate, you might think about seeing a counsellor.
Best of luck.
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