A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few days ago I asked out one of my co-worker work-study students out to lunch. It went great, he was a real gentleman, and I liked that. He invited me over to his place last night to watch a movie...you can guess where that went, lol. Before that, however, we were talking, and I discovered that he's 36. I wasn't looking for a relationship in the first place, and I'm not now (more of a FWB type thing), but now that I know he's, well, that old, I'm honestly not comfortable with others knowing what we're up to, especially not my supervisors. I mean, hey, he was the first man to ever give me an orgasm and lets just say that he loves to eat, lol. He was the best I'd ever had, though admittedly I've only slept with 3 people. I'd like to keep this going, but on the down low and certainly without the development of a relationship. I'm single, he's single, but I'm in it for the no-strings-attached fun.So...how do I break this to him? He hasn't started calling me his gf or saying he loves me or anything like that, but I don't want things to get there so I'd like to be upfront (nicely, obviously) as soon as possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, guys, I just went ahead and dropped a hint and a few hours later, he thanked me for saying something because he didn't know how to bring it up himself. To the rude one, we don't even work in the same office; we're work-study students who work under the umbrella of our 3,000-student university.
To the obnoxious anonymous, if you don't think my supervisors think that students sleep with eachother, wow, you need a reality check lol. In any event, I take my job seriously and was upfront about that, too--no stopping by my office, no notes, no flirting, etc, and he was happy about that too because he didn't want me speaking up either.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): Don't worry, this will all blow up eventully, and if you think you can keep it on the down low at work, think again...people will know and it will get to your supervisors....and who knows how that will go, depends on your companies policies on interoffice dating.
Really bad career move by the way.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Honesty, up front, before you get back to either of your homes even one more time. Clear, straight forward honesty before you touch each other again. If you BOTH agree to go on with a FWB in secret, then that's your choice as adults.
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A
female
reader, fedup123  +, writes (11 July 2010):
hey!
i think definitely the most important thing here is to tell him asap your expectations of where this relationship is heading.
if you sit down with him, or even send him a text to say, "i just want to make it clear before this goes any further that im not looking for a relationship, i enjoy the time we spend together and would like to continue, but commitment isn't what i'm looking for at the moment. i will leave you to make a decision and respect whatever you choose" i think that would be appropriate. that way you cant get accused of 'leading him on' and what not :) anyway, if it was as good for him as it was for you, there's little doubt in my mind he will want to continue! ;)
good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): Let him know that. Tell him that he's AMAZING in bed, but you don't want a relationship and would love to keep it FWB if he is ok with it. Good luck!
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