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He's always needing money, always questioning my feelings for him, and never wants to go out or do anything.

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, *uttercup76 writes:

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months, I love his personality and sense of humor...but seems like he never has any money and he makes more than i. he asked me a couple of weeks ago to make his house payment for him because he was three months behind, while i didnt really want to do it, i did it anyway and now i'm starting to notice other things, like him saying he couldn't come see me unless i gave him gas money, and he never wants to go out, only just to sit at my house and watch movies or get affection from me...he also depends on his mom to do his laundry and cook for him, he has no washer or dryer and only a working microwave in his house, which i cant visit right now because its winter time and he has no heat, and i have two small children that i wont take into that situation. he always depends on me to decide on what to do on weekends and anything i mention he doesn't want to because it takes money, but when i just want to spend the weekend with my kids he seems disappointed that im not paying attention to him, and he says well i'm just going to bed to sleep the day away, and it makes me feel like i should give in to him, i'm so confused with everything. he says that he loves me and that he wants a future with me, but sometime i feel like he says what he thinks i want to hear.and he is always questioning my feelings for him, if i love him, or if i think things feel right between us, i get tired of explaining and reassuring, its exhausting. He does make me laugh and he is very affectionate and is good to my kids... I just need advice...I feel like i'm being tested all the time. Any one who can help me, i appreciate the advice.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntCongrats OP on making the break.

best of luck to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntGood for you! And good luck to you.

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A female reader, Buttercup76 United States +, writes (6 December 2012):

Buttercup76 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To respond to the person that called me irresponsible, just so you know i take very good care of my children...they are provided for very well, they have everything they need a mother and father that loves them. If i hadn't had any extra money, i wouldn't have paid it... but just an update the relationship is over, for good, i wised up when he asked for gas money and cigarettes...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2012):

I m sorry, what?!! You date him only for 3 months and paid his mortgage?!!

You actually took this money from your children and paid for some strange man?

I think you need help, honestly. There is something wrong with you, I m sorry to say that, but that's just my opinion.how can you possibly pay a man that's not a father of your kids, not your husband, not mentioning the fact that you hardly know him, and give him so much money as mortgage payment.

This is just a completely irresponsible behavior. He can be as bad as childish as he can be, but how are you better than him, being a single mother and instead of spending every spare penny on your kids you spend your money on a looser and shameless user.

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A female reader, Buttercup76 United States +, writes (3 December 2012):

Buttercup76 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the replies, your answers are great, really good advice and i've been feeling like i should end it, I just hate to do it right before christmas.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012):

This isn't a boyfriend - it's a parasite. Run away, fast.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (2 December 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThe sooner you get away from this irresponsible child, the sooner you can get on with an ADULT life.... with an ADULT man....

Good luck....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWow, sounds more like a 3rd child then a BF honestly. I don't think he wants a GF he wants a second "mom" someone who will CATER to him every wish and whim.

Sorry if he is in the same age group 36-40 as you I would end it. It's only been 3 months, yet LOOK at how he is acting. And I would NOT have paid his house note, it's not your fault he is 3 months behind. Seriously. That is money you will never see.

Can you imagine if you two move in together? He's not going to want to accept that he is second priority after your kids, nor help out financially, he'll expect you to take care of everything for him - just like his mom (I'm betting she cut him off money wise and THAT is why he is 3 months behind)..

None of what you mention (other then a good sense of humor) makes me think he is a keeper.

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