A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, i really feel down and need to speak to someone.there's this guy i was mad about for years. He's a good friend of mine, but since we met he said he was interested in guys. anyway, one day he asked me if i had feelings for him and i said i did, then he said if he was straight he'd date me coz we are so in sync and alike, we get on great, etc. That was fine, i mean obviulsy it hurt but what could i do? Then after that i heard him pointing a girl out at a party and telling his friend he would have sex with her! and i heard how sometimes he kisses girls, especially when he's drunk. It hurts coz i mean, he's not doing that stuff with me!!! Did he lie to me about being gay?????Now he's also in the habit of lying to me about where he's going, etc. It was a mistake for me to tell him i like him coz it's like he has to hide certain things from me, like if he's going out, getting drunk and doing hell knows what else!He told me him and some girl did stuff, then he told me they didn't but she wanted to. Still, I dont know what to believe?! I don't know what to do. i just feel so deceived and it's hard to go through this coz we're still good friends who speak often.i just need general help with what's going on in his mind and what i can do here to help myself!!!
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cutiee chik  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 hello...hi dont feel bad that u hav told him dat u like him n all coz u havent told him this u would hav never got 2 know what is he ???nyways after goin thru ur msg i think dat he's nt interested in u n he's nt interested in nyone else he's only attracted 2 sex n all.........so stop thinking abt him nd live ur life peacefully
A
male
reader, BillyS  +, writes (11 December 2009):
its far from me to know how this man is thinking, but it sounds to me like hes just not into you like that, and maybe you shpuld get used to the idea of just being friends.
try and get yourself out there to meet a new and exciting man. i know that this is easy to say and harder to do, but i know that when you least expect it you will find love, honestly as a man although straight, telling two different stories is the same as lying, and im sure if he wanted you that way, telling him how you felt was an excellent oppertunity for him to act on this, he chose not to. i know its hard but try to accept your realationship with this guy as friends only.
Good luck with this situation ;)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): If he says he's gay then he is, none of his behaviour is unusual either, I have gay friends that have kissed girls lots of times just for a laugh. I mean you must know girlfriends that have kissed each other for a bit fun to see what it's like or as a drunken dare etc. It's kind of the same when gay men kiss women. Gay men that I know have done the same thing because there's really nothing sexual there, as the guys are gay.
He's actually being a good person not doing those things with you, because for him doing that with those girls is meaningless and he thinks more of you and respects your feelings for him by not kissing you and giving you false hope, this shows he would not consider a kiss with you as being meaningless.
He likes to play games and experiment that's just the way he is, if he's stopped telling you about this stuff or changes his story he's only doing it to protect your feelings and I respect him for that.
You need to get over your feelings for him, you must convince yourself that nothing is ever gonna happen between you two and stop using his drunken antics as a means of continuing to hope that maybe someday it will. He's gay and as much as I don't like to put it this way, you need to hear it, you don't stand a chance with him and never will.
The only way I know to get over someone, is to spend some time away from them with no contact, but as he's your friend and has done nothing wrong I think that would make it difficult for you. You have to get over him though, unless you want to live a life alone in constant hope that something will happen, when it never can.
...............................
|
