A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with this guy for 8 months and have still been seeing him on and off from when we split up 5 months ago until recently when I decided I definitely wanted nothing more to do with him because he constantly lied and cheated on me.I've just found out that he's been with a woman for 2 years and they are having a baby together. I feel like I should inform her of all the times he has cheated on her not only with me but on all the people he cheated on me with as he was also with her at this time. He is a compulsive liar, always promising that he has changed until I catch him out again. But then I'm not sure if it would be right for me to interfere.However, I feel that his girlfriend has the right to know what has been going on, especially as she is carrying his child. That's another thing. He told me he went for a fertility test and was told that his sperm count is zero.What should I do?
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cheated on me, liar, sperm, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): u should stay out of it. if shes blinding her slef enuff to not see what hes doing then shes just dont want to believe it because it is her babys father but i know she has some idea hes been cheating on her but if u say some thing shes going to take it the wrong way and its not worth it u moved on then let them have there problems becaus ehes not ur problem any more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the helpful advice. I've actually just found out that the girl I was speaking to lied about all of this, so I'm really sorry for wasting your time. She's not even going out with my ex.And to Tigerlily, I didn't want to split them up. When he cheated on me I felt like I should have had the right to know and not be lied to. I know that I'm much better off without him thanks.
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (15 November 2008):
 hun, I completely undestand how frustrating this is for you. I was sort of in the same position as you last week. I wanted to tell my ex's new girlfriend how he treated me - basically cheated and lied to me. I hated seeing them so happy when he had hurt me so much that in the end I emailed her and told her. Now I wish I hadnt. Not only did she not reply and instead told my ex, he started sending me nasty messages and being verbally abusive. What Ive learnt is that you have to leave people to get on with things, and if she gets hurt then thats her problem. She will not favour you telling her about him and instead will probably think of you as a jealous nasty ex. Just stay out of it now, hes her problem and people will always do what they want to do, no matter how much people warn them of the bad sides. I gained nothing from telling my ex's girlfriend, and I dont think you will either.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (15 November 2008):
Okay so because this guy has hurt you, you think the thing to do is the hurt another woman, and bring all kinds of drama into her life when she has her hands full right now carrying a baby? I'm sorry that this guy lied to you and cheated on you. Be glad you know his true colors and are well clear of him.
He is her problem now, not yours. If she has been with him for 2 years I'm sure she knows him better than you do. Mind your own business and get on with your own life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): She does have the right to know, but be very careful about how you tell her. She might think you are just trying to split you up. I would only tell her the once, and if she doesn't believe you well, the thought will still be in the back of her mind and she will find out soon enough that you were right. You should be honest and tell her that he saw you, because if she finds out from someone else she'll know you lied about that and then might not believe that he saw other people as well. However you do need to tell her that you no longer have anything to do with him. You need to be polite and calm, and tell her you're only trying to help. Don't get worked up at her, keep your cool, and she will be more likely to believe you.
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