A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Hey Cupid, I need some advice. I struck up a conversation with this guy over the summer and we hit it off pretty well. Since our second date, we've established contact on the phone and he's a nice guy to talk to. Personally I feel as though we have a lot in common and he treats me well whenever we hangout for dinner; he pays my way and is a supreme gentleman on every date. I enjoy spending time with him because we have such stimulating conversations that are so rare to find these days. On the outset, the arrangement is seemingly great but I've noticed that he has the tendency to be uptight. Uptight as in not comfortable in his own skin when we are communicating on a deeper level and it could possibly be that he hasn't dated in awhile. Also, he claims his job causes him to be stressed, and quite naturally we all deal with some measure of stress on the job. But he talks about it when he isn't at work as if it has a major effect on him. Sometimes I feel his intensity that it comes across to someone like myself who enjoys free-spirited conversations. I've taken into account that he works a high-powered job and once attended military school, which might have played a role in him being so regimented in his ways. It could be that this is how he's always been. To test out the situation, I've given him a chance to open up by accepting his invitation to join him on a third date. Family and friends of mine have been split on whether I should agree to this idea of having us go out on a third date, or a fun atmosphere like an arcade venue to balance out the mood. Lately we've sat across the table talking which provides no real excitement and I want to see if he comes into his own (and starts to interject that fun side). Although he's shown some signs of improvement where he's starting to open up more, my real question is do you think going on a third date is the right idea or should I have moved on a long time ago? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): He sounds amazing. I dont know why you would not want to keep seeing him. the way I see it, people need to find complements, not someone identical to them. I mean, if he is a little uptight, you can be free-spirited girl to loosen him up. People tend to take others for granted. I feel like youre not appreciating him enough and simply want someone identical to you. Imagine if you were dating a guy much like you, would he take you as seriously as you would like? I bet you would have fun and great chemistry, but you would find it lacking in the seriousness he is willing to take you.
You said hes a gentleman, and you guys have great conversations. And he treats you well? JACKPOT. Look honey, you might have a real treasure and a little uptightness shouldnt stop you from seeing him again. Dont take others for granted!
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