A
female
age
51-59,
*abinda
writes: i always doubted that my boyfriend was not being honest with me when he said that he loves me so to prove my point i created a fake id on face book with a different female name and sent him a friend request which he accepted without knowing that it was me.he was talking too...i talked to him on facebook for 3 to 4 days.i was so hurt that he was openly flirting with her and he was even ready to meet up with her...so when he told that girl not knowing that it was me to meet her, at that moment i told him who i was.he was furious with me and told me that i was playing games with him.we had a bad fight and to this day he has not sent me any e-mail or message.it has been 6 days since we last contacted on face book.what should i do now?i am so hurt by his behaviour.we both are married to different people with whom we both are not happy so we started talking to each other.he is also a friend of my husband.please help?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I think you both made your bed, but refuse to lie in it. Aren't you a little to "old" to be playing these juvenile games?
Maybe focus on your marriage and see how you can make it work instead of starting new "relationships" and then sabotaging them.
Honestly, if the guy is willing to cheat on his wife, why wouldn't he be willing to cheat on you? I'm amazed that you are so surpised over it. Obviously he failing in the morals and values department.
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 You are unhappy in your marriage. You are betraying the trust your husband has in you, with his friend (which is even worse that with a random stranger). Now it turns out this lover is up for sex with anyone and anything. OK, you caught him out - but all it means is he really is a total love rate. Sleeping with you is a bad thing for him to do - he is your husband's friend. So what makes you think he will be loyal to you? It is not in his nature.Stop this awful cheating game before anyone gets really hurt. If you don't like your husband, leave him. And then find someone else. And with feeling upset about the love rat - you just have to deal with it. He won't take you back, because you have humiliated and outed him. So forget him. He is gone. Your husband is there - so either love him, or leave him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 November 2011):
 please help? please help with what?
you are cheating and lying to your husband.
you did not trust your cheating and lying boyfriend so you lied to him and set him up and caught a liar and a cheat in another lie and cheat...
just because he is unhappily married does not mean you are his be all to end all. IF he was an honorable man he would have
a. left his wife before starting an affair
b. NOT had an affair with a lying cheating married woman.
my advice:
if you are unhappily married you have several options
a. leave your marriage and after you are happy with your life find a new life partner
b. stay in your marriage and work on becoming happier with your spouse
c. stay in your marriage, remain unhappy do nothing
d. stay in your marriage, and approach your spouse about an open marriage arrangement that goes both ways... be aware that this arrangement caused my marriage to end as both of us found new partners..... open marriages are not for bad marriages to make them better.... but if you are going to have affairs I would rather see them be open and honest and above board than lying and cheating...
I"m going to say I'm sorry you are hurting but to be honest, I do not think you can expect fidelity from a married lover.
I also think that creating a person to trap your man shows you didn't trust him in the first place and why should you, you know him to be a liar and a cheat based on his behavior with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): Really.....after how you've betrayed and hurt ur husband. Being cheated on doesn't feel so good afterall.....now u can imagine the hurt your husband will have if he ever found this out.
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A
female
reader, ScaredForLove +, writes (5 November 2011):
I agree with mishmash as well. Maybe its a karma thing. Your cheating on your husband, he's cheating on you. There's no way you can expect trust from him if you're cheating on YOUR husband. I'd fix that first before you make any solid plans. Maybe this guy just isn't worth it ? In any case, good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): If this had been your husband then I could sympathise. It wasnt,it was someone as equally dishonest as you are. It seems you were not as good at your game as you thought. You are not happy in your marriage,you could have tried to sort it out or leave,but you wanted it on your own terms. You do have a problem,its your selfish behaviour. Nothing else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): So your married bf is cheating. Why are u surprised?>He is your Husbands friend for goodness sake, he is cheating on his wife with you and he even wanted to meet the other woman not knowing it was you. Why do u think he will be faithful to u when he cannot even be faithful to his own wife?LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): Considering the fact that you are both cheating on your spouses, don't you think it's at least a little unreasonable that you expect loyalty and monogamous devotion from him?
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (5 November 2011):
 it looks like lack of trust on both ends . you bated him on facebook , and tempted him with a fake woman I.D. that was coming on to him . he enjoyed the attention he was getting from a female, and maybe not getting from you. you were full of doubts about his love for you, and not trusting him. here is a woman that you created that is willing to take him as he is and accept him . it sounds like trust issues in your relationship need to be worked out. after things are cooled down you two need to talk and work things out, and be honest with each other. it would be like him setting you up on facebook and bating you with a fake guy that is interested in meeting you , to get you to flirt at the fake I.D. to see what you would do. that is not trust or love. you two need to work things out.
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