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He's 45---should I find someone closer to my own age?

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Question - (6 September 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi there I would really appreciate it if anyone could give me their thoughts on my predicament....

I am coming up to 28 and have been chatting to a man for a short while via the internet and phone.He will be 45 in 3 weeks time. We get on so well and spend ages chatting on the phone about anything and everything.

He lives over in Ireland though this is not too much of a problem as its only a 50 minute plane journey away from myself.We have spoken about meeting up next week.

Anyway getting back on track....My question is should I continue to pursue this, what with the 17 year age gap that we have between us. He right now is everything I have ever wanted and looked for in a potential partner.

I personally want to go ahead and meet him and feel that the age gap should not be an issue. Who would we be hurting if we was to get together properly?

One of my friends thinks its a recipe for disastor because she says what happens when you get to your mid thirties and hes approaching 50, But surely you progress through life together?

This is also made a little more difficult for myself as both of my parents are only 48 years old. I have spoken to my mum this evening and she is fine about it, she just wants me to be happy at the end of the day. Its my dad I'm dreading telling, but then why should I be? I'm only 2 years off of 30, why should I be justifying myself to anyone I'm a grown woman now?

Anyway I'm just wanting to get an outsiders opinion.

I really really do like this guy and he makes me feel very happy inside, is it worth passing all that up just to find somebody closer to my own age??!!

Thanks very much, gratefully appreciated x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006):

If he seems like the man for you then go for it. Age doesn't matter so much. What matters is the sort of person he is and how you feel about each other.

There are 19 years between myself and my boyfriend. We've been together a few years, love each other (which is all that matters) and are now happilly living together.

Don't pass him up as he might be the man for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006):

You are in your late twenties, he is in his late forties. Its not as if you were, say, 18 and he was 30. What I'm saying is that when you're older, the age gap doesn't matter so much because you have had time to mature and have a good idea (hopefully) as to who you are and what you're looking for.

Having said that, let me add that until you meet in person, it is not a relationship, only a potential one. By all means, if you think you want to meet, do so! But go slow - don't jump into bed right away, no matter how strongly attracted you might be - (forgive me being blunt) because it takes time to get to know a person and to see if you really are compatible, whether you have similar values and goals, and so on.

Hope this helps!

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