A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been having an affair with a colleague for 8 months, I'm 40 and he's 60! but very outgoing and charismatic, very fit and good looking for his age. We do look like father and daughter though but i have grown to love him and i'm pretty certain he loves me, he's like a drug! he cooks me lovely meals and really looks after me, making me feel wonderful! Something i've never had before! The problem is, its a secret relationship from our colleagues and our families as he is living with a lady he no longer loves and i split from my exhubby a year ago. I feel really bad about this because of his lady, but the attraction is unbelievably strong between us and i couldn't resist him.I never thought i would go with someone so much older than me but i have! and i love him!He has offered to set up home with me, but he hasn't much to offer materialisticaly because he was divorced from his wife years ago and lost out considerably before setting up home with the career minded lady he's with now.Should i take a risk with our age difference and settle down with him, which would cause alot of upset, or try to move on and possibly never find anyone else?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): My suggestion is this.If the relationship he is in at the moment is effectively over, he needs to be kind to his partner and end it. This is something I think you should really be questioning, irrispective of whether he has announced that he wants to set up with you. Why now? Perhaps you should consider that, yes his relationship is going to end, and maybe his partner is ending it and he needs a back up plan, especially at his age. He is no spring chicken! You young and hot and naturally he will be hoping your going to continue on with him.He has had, two serious relationships, marriage and this lady. Both have clearly failed and he is the common denominator! Now he has you. I would think seriously about if this is a real relationship which you should consider continuing. Why not have him leave the relationship he is in now, properly, like you have done. Start a normal relationship when he is "free" then you will have him involved with your friends and family and vice-versa. This will be the test on whether it is worth something more serious. The you can base the decision you are facing under more realistic representations of who this man is, for you.You are not that old and in the event this is not right for you, there will be others to choose from now that you are single. Make good choices, right choices and choices you can live with throughout your life.All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): hmm if you truly want to be with him then you must confront the women he is with.if you two truly want to be together and you think you love him then go for it age doesnt make that much of a difference but its unfair to the women that he is with so make sure you get all that cleared up first
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