A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Dear Agony Aunts, I'm about to move out of a condominium I've shared for two years with a roommate. Her parents are the owners and the reason why I'm leaving is that her sister is moving in to attend school. My roommate is supposed to look out for and teach her kid sister how to live on her own because she's also mentally challenged.In the the two years that I've shared the condo with her, she has been mostly absent. She often leaves for days at a time without telling me. I hope this will change when her sister moves in.My roommate is also promiscuous. She's always sleeping with one cute guy or another, and sometimes two at the same time. Even with the door closed and a blaring TV I have overheared she and these guys going at it but I've accepted it as a normal part of college life. I'm afraid that her sister will be mortifed to hear what I've heard.I don't think my roommate knows that she's been overheard. Should warn my roomie when I move out? Should I tell her parents? Or should I not mention it and hope she's better role model for her special-needs sister?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): It's thoughtful of you to be concerned. I think you should talk to both your roommate and her parents about this.
I'm pretty sure that if you had said something to your roommate the first time you overheard her having sex she would have been embarrassed as hell and tried to keep it down from that moment on. Unless she totally gets off on being listened to, and I doubt that, she probably didn't realize how loud she was being. You said yourself that you don't think she knows she was overheard--why on earth did you continue to suffer through listening to it then? A few well chosen words would probably have solved your problem long ago =P
You should also share your concerns with her parents, because they probably have no idea what they're putting their special-needs daughter into. Maybe leave out the gory details of the loud sex with multiple partners, but make sure you explain that your roommate has not been around often and that they may want to make sure she knows to stay in a little more if her sister is going to be there and need supervision. Gently suggest that before they move her sister in, they speak to your roommate and make sure everyone is on the same page with regard to responsibilities and expectations. Good luck
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