A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About one month ago, my gf's parents found out we were having sex. They went ballistic! I think they overreacted and made things overly complicated instead of just dealing with it. I am not a college kid trying to get laid! I have been with my girl for one year and 4 months, and I care about her from the bottom of my heart. After the incident, not only was I completley shut off from her (here partens said I dont exist), but now after things seemed to go normal between my gf and me, I was always happy and supportive, out of the blue yesterday, she said she wants to take a break for a week. I was confused and I asked her as to why, and how, all she said was because she doesnt want the pressures from her parents, and just because "I said so". Am I being wrong for asking questions trying to figure things out?? She said it doesnt have to do between us two, it doesnt have to to with another guy that she might like, what is it then? This is extremly painful on me, because it goes deep down into my feelings and is a serious situation for me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): i think u need to talk to her and find out whats going on, also, about the sex, over here the legal age is 16, and i think to wait until 18 is good, but if it is 18 over there, then mabye they were hoping she would wait longer x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): sounds like you serioulsy need to sit down and talk to her about it. all this over sex?? its supposed to be enjoyable not cause all these arguements.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is 17, and her parents are conservative, I am unsure of their pre marital sex views, but I just feel as if they could have reacted differently, 4 days after they found out, I wrote a personal hand written letter to them, staitng how I feel. But no positive results, I just feel as if they are too arrogant or stubborn to make a sacrifice and see my point of view, to put plainly, I have gotten off my high horse and kissed their high horses rear, almost to the point of degrading myself. Why is anything i do not good enough to them? I managed to talk to her mom, and it appeared that the short talk at least broke the ice, forget about her father, i cant even talk to him, even a month later. I come to the point of breaking up with her, just because its just too much, Ive taken in so much. I just cannot bear, that if I break up with her that a another guy can take my place, I cannot bear that, it will destroy my inner self.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 It's hard to advise as you dont tell us how old your girlfriend is. If she is under 18 then I can understand how her parents reacted ( I'm not condeming you just that I can understand how parents may act ).
You need to get down to the crux of the matter. Why did her parents react the way they did? Is it her age?
Is it because they are religious and dont believe in pre-martial sex?
There must be a reason.
For one thing there is no point in blaming your girlfriend, she must be going through hell as her parents will be making her feel very bad, so its not surprising she wants to tone things down.
Show some maturity and get to the real reason her parents are unhappy. then you can try and ease their conscience by showing them that you are a mature and responsible person who has their daughters best interests at heart.
Because that is what they want.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
Tell her it will be the longest week of your life but you'll be there waiting.
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