A
male
age
41-50,
*uthark1
writes:Sorry, trying to be short as I can so as not to bore. There is a lot of info, so if anyone wants clarity let me know.My girlfriend and I had a fight and we broke up. Now, we have been dating for about a year and a half, but part of that was long distance. The last few months she has been studying abroad.I did visit her abroad and we had a great time just a couple months ago. Everything was perfect. However with the distance came stress and a few arguments...mostly over stupid things and insecurities and one night we broke it off. I called the next day apologizing for being frustrated but she wanted her space. Now she says she has no feelings anymore and is confused with what she wants. She wants to have fun with her remaining time abroad and basically not think of things...but doesn't want me to "abandon her"Now...this is with only 5 weeks left of being apart...then we will both be in the same town again (small town so we will have to see each other...and when together things are great...and we are the type that we can't stay away from each other when together.So I don't know what to do. We now meet in 2.5 weeks...or are supposed to...but she won't answer any questions about when she is coming or anything...or how she is feeling. I love her a lot...I have had other girlfriends (I am 29, so this is not new to me), but what is...is that I still want her. All my other exs I was able to walk away from...but not her.What I don't want to happen is for her to come talk to me just to say she doesn't want me anymore...she already broke my heart once...she doesn't need to do it to my face again. However, if she is coming to talk and see her feelings to try and work it out...I can deal with that, respect that. I asked her what her intentions are with meeting me soon and that I don't want her to come just to leave me again...but she won't committ to an answer with it. She just says she doesn't know and is confused, but wants to talk.What I want to do is give her an "ultimatum" of sorts (although I hate ultimatums). But if she wants to see me to talk and be honest (that nothing happened abroad, for the record I do not believe that she is doing anything with a guy...not that I could be wrong but she is very against that normally) and work things out to see how we feel...then cool. She should come. But if she does want to leave for good, don't bother showing. Is this fair? Should we meet anyways so we can have a face-toface? How can I even get her to answer to that? She says she wants to see me but doesn't tell me her intentions. I suppose she may not really know...Thanks for any advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): Oh yeah I understand it now.
That third paragraph just cleared everything out!
Sorry I didn't understand it first time, a little slow =P
Right back to you, I understand what you mean but if shes refusing to give you an answer then you can't do anything about it. If you can't do anything about something you'll have to sit it out. Explain to her you want to talk about it, you don't need to tell her feelings then because I think you should tell them to her face.
Just try and convince her you want to talk to her, nothing has to happen, just talk.
Then you can see where things goes. I mean if nothing does happen, it'll be heart break yeah but its best you have that all important chat about it to clear both your heads. Then you can continue to find the person that will love you forever. You just need to check its not her.
Sorry I can't be more help, its just limited to what you can do.
A
male
reader, futhark1 +, writes (13 July 2008):
futhark1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry...I wrote that weird. She is coming back...we will see each other in about 2.5 weeks. She wants to meet me, but the last few weeks she has refused to talk to me and tell me what her intentions are. She may not know I guess...
But where I am stuck is...I don't really want to meet her if she is coming to just break up to my face (which she has already done online)...
or if she wants to talk and see about working things out, which I wouldn't mind.
However, she won't answer as to what her intentions are...does that make sense? I want to meet her...I really do so we can maybe work things out...but not to have her show up specifically just to rip my heart out again.
So I do not know if I should "demand" (not that I can) her to answer that...or just let it go and see what happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): I understood until around the endish.
So she might not actually be coming back?! Or has everything just gone straight over my head?!
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