A
male
age
30-35,
*unePoopay
writes:hi, theres a really huge problem i have, my girlfriend's grandfather is dying and i dont know what to do. i want to cheer my gf up but i just cant seem to find any ways to do so. knowing the fact that i cant do anything about it hurts. i really need all your guys suggestions, it scares me, cuz i really want her to be happy, if even just a bit. i want her to know i would always be there for her even in tough times, i want her to know i care and im scared if she would change following up her grandfathers death if that ever happens. i dont want anything to happen to her and her grandfather, i just really hope everything will be okay... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LoveisCure  +, writes (19 May 2009):
k if u really love her i dont believe that there is anything u can do just b there 4 her and that is all the comfort u can give bcause sometimes u can only help 2 a certain point and beyond that its out of your hands but b there 4 her cause shell need it just remember itll pass
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Good advice by Turtle86, below me. Your gf is grieving. Grieving is painful, yet it is normal, healthy and necessary for healing especially after the potential loss of a loved one. Sometimes, we can manage our grief quite well, and a sense of peace and acceptance comes readily, but for others, the process can be lengthy and daunting. Your gf is not looking to be cheered up. She needs understanding, affection and suppport. She is sad at the tremendous loss, that is about to happen.
You can help by just being their to listen to her. Take her for walks suggest a movie or take her for a nice dinner out. She will cry and express her emotions, occasionally. You may notice she may seem more herself on some other days.
She likely won't change after his death. She will be sad for awhile but if she's got a good family support system, she should normalize, in her own time. Time will heal, here. The only thing you can watch for is abnormal bouts of depression for a long period of time, especially afterwards. Sometimes, a normal grieving process can be replaced by an inability to function at all. Be on the lookout for signs of trouble. Lingering, long term depression, manifests itself in deep and lasting sadness, loss or a dramatic increase of appetite, social withdrawl, not wanting to be with friends, anxiety and trouble sleeping a lot. If this happens she could require bereavement counseling and her family should be made aware of any dramatic personality changes such as this. Just be her rock and hold her up through this difficult time. You cannot make her happy throughout this crisis..she will get there on her own, once it's over. So good luck and hang in there.
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A
male
reader, JunePoopay +, writes (19 May 2009):
JunePoopay is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very very much, i'll just try to help her through it, and try to be there for her as much as possible and i'll give her spme space if she wants to be alone. Once again, thank you very much.
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A
male
reader, TaoTang +, writes (19 May 2009):
 And buy her some things for no reason, like just randomly walk up to her and say i got you some flowers or chocolate
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, turtle86 +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Hey bud, just make her happy the way you normally do. Do whatever it takes other than making crappy jokes and stuff. It's a tough time. Don't makeout with her or do anything else. A kiss, peck, etc. will do. Just hold her in your arms and tell her everything will be alright. Tell her to let her tears out (This is what I would do) and tell her to let all her emotions out to you. [:
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