A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm struggling with my girlfriends past. She has had about the same number of partners as me from what she tells me, but they have been recent and FWB type relationships, whereas mine have mostly been more serious. I get the vibe that some of these guys were great in bed, and I was wondering if you women who've had the FWB thing, if the sex was generall better because it was just based on sexual pleasure. Or, does love make sex better than your FWB. In other words, do you look back on the purely sexual relationships you've had and consider them better, sexually, than sex in a loving relationship, just because on a purely visceral, animal level it was more lustful in a FWB relationship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): Believe me, having sex with somebody you love is a million times better.
The whole FWB's thing is in fact something you do for your own fun/pleasure and so's the other person. So I very much doubt them other men gave her oral pleasure or done anything she actually wanted, other than sex. They're only in it for them selves, that's what the whole thing's about anyway. And remember, guys normally have the upper hand in sex anyway (can get into it straight away, easier to cum, etc, etc).
Where as doing it with someone you love, means a lot more to somebody. And I'm sure you do the things she wants.
You have to remember FWB's is having sex with someone for fun. Meaning, it didn't mean anything. So why would she think twice about it when she now has you who she loves?
If she does think about them however, she can't be a good person.
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 From a female's point of view, who has had a couple of FWB's, the sex isn't better, because to be honest, both people are just using each other for their own pleasure. It's easier for men to get what they want out of sex, I personally found the sex lacking as the other person wouldn't spend the time I needed to get what I wanted out of it! Sex in a relationship (imo) is much better, you care if the other person is enjoying it, you take the time, you learn about each other and make the effort to make things better each time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): Great question.
As most people, I think women have a highlight reel too. Of course they retain and recall the best sex because it's a normal and healthy memory.
The best highlight reel additions are the episodes wherein BOTH the sex and the love were good. They enhance each other. Ultimately, most women just want to be loved, and they tend to compromise the great sex part because they want the true love more.
So it's possible your girlfriend has had better sex than you two share, but you got to face it and accept it. If your g/f tells you that the sex part is not as important as being loved by you, she's telling you the truth.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 If the sex was so good, why did she stop?
Apparently isn't wasn't good enough or she would still be with them.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 July 2010):
FWB is more of a selfish thing, primarily aimed at getting your own way and nothing else, so it's more likely that the men in those relationships had a great time, while she never really experienced love and care and such. Love does make sex better, because you'll naturally take more care over a partner, naturally do more to please them and such. A FWB relationship is just about sex, that's it.
Your girlfriend loves you, and the sex will be better and more meaningful. That's what matters.
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