A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello. umm... i was wondering if you could give me some advice, i'm in a relationship with this woman i met online and love her so much, she lives in another country and is the same age as me and we've met up quite a lot. her friend was killed today and i really want to support her, i just dont know what to say and whether i can say anything that will help her somehow. i've never met this person and so its a completely different part of her life and there are others grieving with her but i'd like to be able support her somehow, does that sound selfish.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Just let her know you are there for her, and if she needs to talk about it...you are there for her.
You don't have to say much...just be there to listen. And let her know you are extremely sorry for her loss, and that it saddens you to see her so sad.
Be there for her emotionally!
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 You don't sound selfish at all, you feel her pain no matter whether you knew this friend of hers or not.
You love her and you know her and so you want to take her pain away.
Show her how much you care, let her know you are there for her, get to see her, ask her if there is anything at all you can do to help, however small. It isn't the fact that she is going to say yes but at least if you make the offer then it means a hell of a lot.
Send her a sympathy card as this is her loss to. Send her something you know she will like, however small. It can be a little book of sayings or something she can keep with her, whether it is a keyring with some words on it that mean a lot to her.
It isn't about the amount of money you spend on her but it is just letting her know you are there for her. If she is going to the funeral then check she is OK before and after by ringing her or emailing her - however you stay in touch OK.
More than being by her side which may be difficult I don't know what else to say.
However, she may have good and bad days in the coming months so be prepared for those and just listen when she wants to talk and when you are with her just give her cuddles and she will open up when she wants to have you close by.
Hope some of the above helps in some small way.
BFN
Country Woman
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