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anonymous
writes: I have known my girlfriend for almost 2 years. she has an ex, who she considers a friend now, that lives like 3 hours away from where we live. right before we "officially" started going out she would go visit him and her friends that she has over there. I never thought much of it. A few months after we got real serious, he calls her at 3am while we are in bed. it was obvious he was drunk. she had him on speaker phone cause her cell wasn't working right, so i heard the call. it sounded to me like he missed her. i wasn't too happy and i asked her about it. she said that when she went to go see him, she was sleeping with him. right away i told her to end it. she considered him a friend but i know what he considered her. if the only time he calls her in months is at 3am when he is drunk, in my opinion he only wanted one thing and he is not really a friend. of course its a 3 hour drive and it would be crazy for her to go see him that night, he doesn't know that. he just wanted to her attention. well, i told her to end it with him and she did. a few months later i see that she called him. she said that she talked about it with her therapist and was going to tell me, but how could i trust her with him now. she believes that i am being to overprotective of her. she wanted to end the relationship but i told her that i trust her not to cheat on me. i just dont trust him. how can i make her realize that he is not a real friend? if i am wrong, what should i do?
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reader, lostinlove +, writes (17 June 2006):
Can I just say to start that from what you are saying, you are not so much losing trust in your girlfriend as much as not being able to trust her ex. She has not really done anything wrong in calling him assuming that she has actually ended it. There is no reason from what youve said to suspect that she is still seeing him however she may just be trying to help him thru the breakup, you mentioned that he seems to miss her, that must be difficult for her as she has moved on and found you however she may feel to blame for the hurt her ex must be feeling now and want to help him thru it. This is something that you should be proud of because she loves you deeply but does not want to hurt others, if she is that concerned about her exs feelings then just think about how much more she must worry about yours, this could be why she had to speak to her therapist before she spoke to you, dont worry m8 it sounds like things are fine and you have nothing to worry about. You are very lucky to have such a caring girl, keep hold of her and dont let her feel she has done anything wrong, let her know you understand and it will go a long way :o)
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